Ulikely Little Golden Books: The Walking Dead
It's the popular cable zombie gore-fest television series in the form of a long-running childrens' book collection, which obviously seems unlikely.
December 9, 2011

Winthrop in "A Visit From Father"
Winthrop Merriweather Pinfeather-Smythe's father returns home, and our little gentleman sees an opportunity to exact revenge on an enemy.
April 8, 2011

We asked several of your favorite super-heroes what they're giving up for lent. Also, they answer.
March 10, 2011

People's Sexiest Etcetera
People Magazine branches out from things other men and just starts deciding what the sexiest everthing alive is. They've gone power mad, I tells ya. Power mad! Check out the sexy results.
November 20, 2009

Hope Posters
Sure, Barak Obama looks good in his tri-colored campaign poster, but would other public figures and fictional characters look as good in the same style?
October 15, 2008

Why I Would Not Enjoy Livig on Big Rock Candy Mountain
Jon Morris takes a careful, detailed look at every Hobo's dream of Nirvana and decides it's just not the place for him.
sometime, we forget when

MUSIC: Confession
Erin Murray admits to certain details about her personality you might want to know about before things get too serious. These things are admitted through singing.
October 3, 2008

"Winthrop Revirescent" or "Our Little Gentleman's Birthday"
Winthrop Merriweather Pinfeather-Smythe celebrates his birthday in this three-part epic tale of growing older, if not better.
September 3, 4, and 5, 2008

Dear Dr. Jones
The world-famous archeologist gets an unexpected update from an old ally.
June 6 2008

MUSIC: Taxidermy (Baby I Love You)
A song by Erin Murray about finding a way to make love last forever. Chemically.
May 30, 2008

An Interview With The Pac-Man Ghosts
The gluttonous yellow pie-man's multi-hued apparations speak about their (after)lives for the first time.
October 26, 2007

An Interview With The Sinister Six
Spider Man's (almost) deadliest foes sound off.
May 4, 2007

In Memoriam: Captain America
Two heroes weigh in with tributes to the star-spangeled Avenger.
March 23, 2007

Winthrop in: Grandfather's Gift
Our little gentleman learns an important life lesson. Kind of.
January 19, 2007

Ode To The Chuckles in the Break Room Vending Machine
Oh, no! It's poetry!
August 18, 2006

Ripped! From the headlines!
Harry Potter Hexicon
My Hypothesis Regarding The Future Length of Ronald Weasley's Hair (As Portrayed By Rupert Grint) Based On Current Trends
November 18, 2005

A few words before the show
Yes, you have to sit through the curtain speech before seeing the community theatre production of "Arsenic and Old Lace."
September 16, 2005

The Muppet Show: Where are they Now?
What's happened to your beloved foam friends?
August 2005

The Interview
Twenty years later, five people are interviewed about a life-changing experience they had as children.
July 2005

Muscleface: The Boxer with the Heart of Gold
June McNally had dreams of being a boxer. Every night she'd get beaten to a bloody pulp in boxing nightmares. She figured that if she became a real boxer, maybe she could fight back.
June 10, 2005

Sin City Sequel Posters
The following posters are our suggestions for sequel storylines, all featuring honest-to-goodness real quotes from the people pictured.
April 8, 2005

Ripped! From the Headlines!
Upcoming 'American Idol' theme weeks
April 1, 2005

Ripped! From the Headlines!
Making it on the outside- Martha Stewart's plans
March 4, 2005

Ripped! From the Headlines!
Hunter S. Thompson, RIP
February 25, 2005

Things I Needed to Know that I Did Not Learn in Kindergarten
February 11, 2005

Ripped! From the Headlines!
This time around-- President George W. Bush's Inauguration Day Schedule
January 20, 2005

Ripped! From the Headlines!
This time around-- The Plot Against America, an early draft.
October 8, 2004

Eight teenage boys, a homely older woman, a cute little girl, ten banjos... and one destiny.
August 9-13, 2004

A Harrowing Tale of The Danger of the Hunt
Winthrop Merriweather Pinfeather-Smythe has an adventure. A prissy, prissy adventure.
June 25, 2004

Storm safety tips
With the weather going crazy lately, this could possibly save your life. By "could possibly," we mean "likely will not."
May 28, 2004

Letters of Complaint
When a sternly-worded letter to the Times is the only recourse. Except not to the Times, really.
April 29, 2004

State of the Anthill
Because you were all wondering how things were going down there.
March 31, 2004

When you see the newsboy, it's time for Ripped! From the Headlines!
Bootlegs for Trade
A Letter of Apology
August 8, 2003

First Lines of Books That I Have Written
Last Lines of Books That I Have Written
Every good beginning must have an ending. Or something.
July 18, 2003

Classic Films, Reviewed by my Cousin Mark
Let's see those snobby bastards at Film Comment beat this! Bring it on, pasty boys!
June 13, 2003

Questions Bats are Sick of Being Asked at Parties
Man, when bats go to parties, do they ever get the questions! Here are some.
May 30, 2003

Viva l'America!
Wait- can we still call them the Green Berets?
March 14, 2003

I'm ever so cross at my nanny!

Meet Winthrop Merriweather Pinfeather-Smythe and learn of the troubles he must endure.
December 20, 2002

Sentences Written For the School Vocabulary List By a Student Obsessed with Tacos But Not Very Good at Vocabulary
August 30, 2002

Where Are They Now?
Catch up on some of your favorite celebrites' whereabouts.
April 19, 2002

My Lives in Alternate Dimensions by Brodie H. Brockie
How My Life is Different in the "Mr. Destiny" Universe by RJ White
March 22, 2002

My Liner Notes
No, I don't have an album coming out, but after you read these, you won't even care (assuming you ever might have).
February 8, 2002

If I Were Morrissey for a Day
What I would do.
October 26, 2001

Nobel Prizes for Kids
You probably missed these on the news.
October 19, 2001

Geek Quiz
If you have to take a quiz, you probably are.
October 5, 2001

Quick Comebacks Later Regretted
"Oh yeah, uh, maybe you're the stupid head!" And the like.
August 15, 2001

R.I.P., Suck
We pour out a 40oz for one of our favorite sites.
June 15, 2001

The Cap'n's BBQ Tips
Before you fire up the grill, get a dose of of our special sauce.
May 25, 2001

Motown - Ghost Town
People are leaving the Motor City in droves. What to do with all of that empty space?
April 6, 2001

Upcoming George W. Bush Theme Weeks
What will the president be focusing upon in office? We have the inside scoop!
February 23, 2001

Death-O-Tron 5B-XR
Fill out a survey and our newest computer will tell you the circumstances of your death. Fun for kids!
September 29, 2000

Titles of Movies Starring Two Guys Who Are Always Hungry and Raising the Ire of Stuffed Shirts
The title sums it up pretty nicely.
August 22, 2000

A Group of Second Bananas, Observed in the Wild, Exhibit Pack-Like Mentality
When a whole bunch of sidekicks are stranded in the wilderness, who will lead them?
June 9, 2000

You Always Hurt the Ones You Love
I opened your e-mail and got a virus. Will you respect me in the morning?
May 5, 2000

The Dummies books get even dumber.
April 6, 2000

Oscar Predictions
March 24, 2000

Chain of Fools
Get the only chain letter that tells the truth.
February 25, 2000

January 7, 2000

The Perfect Gift
Better than anything you ever wanted.
Christmas, 1999

Your One-Stop Christmas Story
A messier mix than your grandma's fruitcake.
Christmas, 1999

Like, Amish
Despite alleged isolation, Laura learns the lingo.
Novemeber 12, 1999

October 29, 1999

On Regurgitation (Physical and Commercial)
Kenny G and vomit. A natural combination.
September 17, 1999

September 10, 1999