If you have to ask, the answer is probably "yes." But HOW BIG of a geek are you? Fill out this questionnaire and we'll let you know how bad off you've got it.



Please match the following characters with their trademark exclamations:

1. Superman
2. Wonder Woman
3. Dr. Strange
4. Luke Cage
5. George W. Bush
6. Zonar the Superion
A. By the Hoary Host of Hoggoth!
B. Great Hera!
C. Sweet, Fancy Christmas!
D. Hello, Poop-Machines!
E. Great Krypton!
F. God bless nepotism!




1. When you saw the movie version of "The X-Men" what was your reaction:
A. Annoyed that the costumes had been changed
B. Annoyed that the Beast was not on the team
C. Enjoyed the experience
D. Annoyed there was no cameo by one-time Xavier School dance instructor Stevie Hunter
E. I didn't see the goddamn X-Men movie

2. Pick your favorite captain of The Enterprise
A. Captain Picard
B. Captain Kirk
C. Captain Pike
D. My friend Larry Fetzer when we role-play
E. I don't have a favorite captain of the goddamn Enterprise

3. What is your reaction to the following words: "Star Wars Holiday Special?"
A. Not much - I've never heard of it.
B. Curiosity - I've heard of it but never seen it.
C. Nausea - I've seen it, but would rather stab out my own eyes with knitting needles than have to endure it again.
D. Bliss - Bea Arthur singing in the cantina is my idea of entertainment!

4. Who would win in a fight between Superman and the Hulk?
A. Superman, of course
B. Hulk Smash!
C. That would depend on a number of factors including: 1. How angry the Hulk was. 2. If Lois Lane or Jimmy Olsen were around to become endangered and therefore distract the man of Steel. 3. Whether we're talking the green or grey hulk.
D. As both are fictional characters, the writer of any story in which such a confrontation occurs would determine the outcome occording to his or her preference.
E. I couldn't possibly imagine caring.

5. Who is your favorite character on Xena: The Warrior Princess?
A. Xena
B. Gabrielle
C. Callisto
D. Aphrodite
E. Whichever one is shown running at any given moment.

6. How many longboxes are in your closet?
A. Fewer than 3
B. 3 or more
C. 10 or more
D. No room for shoes
C. What the hell's a longbox?

8. Your opinion on the current state of the comics industry:
A. Need to get a more diverse readership
B. If only they'd let me bring back Hal Jordan as Green Lantern
C. It's not dead, it's just sleeping
D. They still make comic books?

9. Mechanical or organic web-shooters?
A. Organic
B. Mechanical
C. Is this some kind of weird sex thing?

10. Best 'Star Trek: The Next Generation' episode:
A. "All Good Things, Part II"
B. "Cause and Effect"
C. "The Best of Both Worlds"
D. That one with the robots or something, I only saw the stupid thing once.

11. What would be coolest action figure?
A. Rorsach, from "Watchmen"
B. Venom, from "Earth X"
C. Green Lantern John Stewart
D. I have a girlfriend, actually

12. How well do you remember what the inside of your locker looked like in Middle School?
A. I was never inside my locker.
B. Not too much - it was pretty dark.
C. I was in long enough for my eyes to adjust so I remember it pretty well.
D. Lookd like? Hell - I remember what it SMELLED like.
E. Help, I'm still inside!



__ You've seen Star Wars more times that you've kissed a member of the opposite sex.

__ I know what the phrase "Only Bucky stays dead" means.

__ As soon as you heard of the band "Nerf Herder," you got the reference.

__ If George Lucas were to ever require a full-time apologist, I would be first in line

__ I have gotten into heated arguments concerning anime films no one in the general population will ever see.

__ In my darkest hours, impure thoughts about Supergirl. The one in the skirt from the animated series.

__ There are four lights.