Fill out the following form, picking the best answer for each question. Next, click on the button on the bottom of the page and we will use the amzing power of computing to predict the exact way you will die. Have fun!

1. How often do you smoke?
Once in a while
Whenever vigorously rubbed
Whenever I find a discarded butt.
So often Lucille Ball would tell me to slow down.

2. How often do you drink?
Not much
I enjoy a snifter of port on occasion
Whenver it's free
Every time somebody says, "Hi, Bob"

3. I am weakened by...
Physical stress
Having my hair cut
The velvety tones of Mel Torme
Ball peen hammers

4. How often do you run?
At least daily
At least weekly
Whenever I fear the baker may be running out of eclairs

5. My favorite food is...
a light salad
Fried salty beef with creamy gravy sauce

6. Would you take a loan from a guy named Vito the Crowbar?

7. What kind of driver are you?
remember that guy in the opening credits of Speed Racer that tries to pass Speed, and then Spped nudges his car with the Mach 5 and then the guy's car goes flying off the track, over a cliff, and then blows up? I'm that guy.

8. How ya feeling?
you know
can't complain
could be better

9. With whose character do you identify the most in Psycho?
Janet Leigh
Anthony Perkins
Martin Balsam
Ted Knight as the prison guard who is just onscreen for a second there at the end.

10. You're in a high-stakes poker game. Do you...
hold 'em
fold 'em
shoot that lousy cheat Kenny Rogers, before he has a chance to get to his pistol

11. Stress reduction: When upset, you...
meditate, breathing deeply
put things in perspective
make that little blood vessel in my brain burst, making me have to learn to walk and speak again for the 32nd time

12. If a friend handed you a vial labeled "BIOHAZARD: SMALLPOX" and offered you cash to drink the liquid inside, would you?
for how much money, again?

13. Have you ever had sex with Warren DeMartini of Ratt?
we're just friends, thank you very much

14. Are you on fire right now?
kind of
no, not really

15. When given hazardous chemicals to dispose of, you...
put them in a lined, secure container, then make sure they're shipped to a licensed facility
eat them like candy

16. Which of the following is to die for?
those shoes
that hat
my principles

17. When was your most recent physical?
in the last 6 months
in the last year
before I went to fourth grade day camp