by Brodie H. Brockie
They all remembered the sting, a gathering of second bananas, let loose in the wilderness.
Even here, each member of this group of sidekicks remembered what it was like to be the follower, the other guy, or the face left off the lunchbox. With no clear leader amongst them, each hoped to exert his dominance over the others.
Rubble was the first to cave.
Despite being closer than most to his animal roots, Barney took the aggression of the others with good-nature and self-deprecation. Inside he was hurting, but on the outside he chuckled and shrugged it off.
Ed McMahon marked his territory with his urine. The scent was bitterly strong. He was old, but determined.
Robin, the Boy Wonder, shed his colorful costume in favor of dark hues and earth tones. Here it would not do to be spotted too easily. Here, he could dress as he wished.
An over-confident Andrew Ridgely attempted to take command early.
He paid for this hubris with his life when the entire pack savagely turned on him.
Shaken by the incident, Zeppo Marx went into self-imposed exile. He held no illusions about the likelihood of becoming pack-leader, and preferred banishment to accepting subordination again.
Gabby Hayes was found dead in the morning.
He was slow, and too talkative during hunts. Not even the inquisitive Dr. Watson tried to discover his murderer.
As expected, it came down to two: Chewbacca and Ed McMahon.
The wookiee is younger (at least as far as his species is concerned) and more fit, but the old silverback McMahon was determined and wily.
The two alpha-males circled each other slowly, blocking out the catcalls of the others. Paul Shaffer howled with excitement. Linus pounded his chest.
McMahon and Chewbacca lunged forward in unison. Dust flew as they grappled. The fight was fierce, but over quickly. McMahon would not submit again, and fought like a sidekick half his age.
Chewbacca, sensing defeat, offered his throat in submission. McMahon acknowledged the gesture, but did not kill.
It was a generous move, but foolish. He's not a young man, and should show no sign of weakness in front of the other second bananas.