FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
On Monday of this week, Amalgamated Humor Co-President Brodie H. Brockie held contract negotiations with one of capnwacky.com's main writers, Brodie H. Brockie. Fortunately, stenographer Brodie H. Brockie was also present to transcribe their conversation...
WRITER BRODIE: I'm glad you agreed to meet with me.
PRESIDENT BRODIE: Hmm?
WB: I'm hear to talk to you about the writer's contract for capnwacky.com.
PB: Uh... I don't remember agreeing to meet with you.
WB: Funny, since here we both are!
PB: Well, I'm sorry but I have to -
WB: I'm going anywhere you're going until we sort this out.
PB: There's nothing TOO sort out. You don't even have a contract!
WB: And you think that's going to appease us! We demand better!
PB: Can you be more specific?
WB: Well... What are the big Hollywood writers striking for?
PB: Oh that's what this is about. That's just sad.
WB: Don't judge me! What are they after.
PB: I think it's mostly about getting residuals from sales of DVDs.
WB: I demand that too! Residuals from DVDs!
PB: What DVDs? We don't sell any.
WB: I demand it!
PB: Fine, here's a handful of air, satisfied?
WB: Don't mock me! What else do the real - er, Hollywood writers want?
PB: Uh, I think there was also something about percentage of profits from internet ads!
WB: Ah-ha! We have those!
PB: Well, we have a few, but we don't really make that much off of them.
WB: Why not?
PB: Eh, nobody clicks on them much.
WB: So if people just clicked on them more often, we'd make more money?
PB: Yeah, but we're not really supposed to mention that explicitly.
WB: Oh. What about contextually in a humorous piece?
PB: We might get away with it. Anyway, you already get a paid for that.
WB: Well, I want more!
PB: Forget it.
WB: I demand it!
PB: Well, you've not getting anymore of MY percentage, I can tell you that!
WB: That tears it! You may think you're the big shot just because you're the president of this fictional company, but where would you be without us lowly writers, the people who actually come up with the very ideas you base your product on?
PB: I don't know. Why don't you write me an answer.
WB: Do you think you're better than me?
PB: Um... I AM you, remember?
WB: Semantics! I've had it with your attitude. I'm going on strike!
PB: Now, come on.
WB: Strike! Strike! Srike!
(WRITER BRODIE exits, still chanting.)
PB: Fine, I can write this week's jokes myself! I'm sure the corporate mentality part of myself, tiny though it may be, is just as capable of crafting humorous diversions as the daydreaming creative side...