For many years, those who gave any thought to the matter at all assumed that CAP’N WACKY’s origin had something to do with Amalgamated Humor co-founder Sheky "Ralph" Brockie’s peculiar habit of calling everyone "Cappy." Probably, Brockie encouraged this rumor. However, the true story of CAP’N WACKY, one of the world’s most beloved corporate mascots, is quite different, and one never told before now. We call it-

Part One

Amalgamated Humor, Inc. had been going strong for several years, but co-presidents Brockie and Ichabod Lancaster White IIX were still frustrated by the company’s inability to adopt a corporate mascot that struck a chord with America.

First the company tried Serious Businessman, a cartoon character invented by White that wore a suit and tie and had a serious demeanor. This didn’t seem to fit in with the company’s humor-producing efforts. Next, Brockie created Hip Hip Hooray, the three-headed clown. While a more logical attempt at a humorous character, most people simply found this character frightening. White tried his hand again with Funny Business Man, who was simply Serious Businessman with an uncomfortable smile pasted on his face. Finally, Brockie tried one more creation, Wacky Funny Guy, a pathetic, smiling stick figure. Clearly, his heart was not in the effort.

The pair finally decided to hire a cartoonist, though both men held all cartoonists in low regard.

"Disease-ridden, societal parasites," White once said of cartoonists. "The lot of them."

Over the years, Amalgamated Humor would be forced to hire many cartoonists, though Brockie demanded their official job title always be "scribbling monkeys."

This first "scribbling monkey" was Arthur "Art" Fetzenberg (no records indicate whether his nickname is merely a shortening of his name or a reference to his artistic ability). Fetzenberg was charged with the difficult task of creating a corporate mascot that would please both of his fickle employers and the American humor consumer.

Continue to Part 2