FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
ANN ARBOR, MI- Amalgamated Humor, Inc (AMALHU- NASDAQ), manufacturers and purveyors of fine comedic diversions since the 1930s, is pleased as pickles to announce that their beloved corporate mascot, Cap'n Wacky, is docking his ship at the technological harbor of wonder that is the "World Wide Web."
http://www.capnwacky.com will be the address for "Cap'n Wacky's Boatload of Fun," the internet's newest and greatest source of computerized "virtual" comedy. Handcrafted by professionally trained humorsmiths Roger Harrison White and Brodie Hawkins Brockie, http://www.capnwacky.com will feature both parodies of "famous" internet sites and original mirthful content.
All for free!
Gary Newbrunswick, Amalgamated Humor, Inc.'s Senior V.P. of Public Relations, is very optimistic about the new venture.
"I'm very optimistic about this new venture," Newbrunswick said. "And I'm not just saying that, as Amalgamated Humor, Inc.'s Senior V.P. of Public Relations, or because of the brand new Lexus I found in my parking space last Tuesday afternoon."
Researchers say that http://www.capnwacky.com might possibly change the face of the "World Wide Web" as we know it.
http://www.capnwacky.com will launch on August 3, 1999 with eGad, a merry satire of internet giant eBay, the famous auction site. Also available upon launch will be a look at the Official Amalgamated Humor intranet, with the history of our illustrious corporation and the tale of our world-famous corporate spokesseaman, Cap'n Wacky.
"Arh! Here there be comedy!" the fictional sailor said of the website.
On August 20, come back to http://www.capnwacky.com to see the JIMMICAM. What happens when one Amalgamated Humor employee agrees to have a camera set up in his apartment to webcast every moment of his life on our site? Find out August 20.
In honor of the launching of http://www.capnwacky.com, all Cap'n Wacky's Galley of Fun Family Restaurants will feature 3% off Brineburgers and Kelpnuggets and 8.6% off salt-flavored saltlicks with purchase of "schooner"-sized soda (offer not valid in states west of Rhode Island).
Coming down the line at http://www.capnwacky.com - more internet parodies like Ain't-it-Cool-in-the-Basement (mocking portly film-nut Harry Knowles' Ain't-it-Cool News), The Mobster Board (a biting satire of job search engine The Monster Board), and much more!
Also be sure to see our "original" comedic masterpieces in our Flotsam and Jetsam page and in the yet-to-be-named art gallery (CONTEST ALERT! If the name you submit to http://www.capnwacky.com is chosen as the name of our gallery, you'll win a "valuable" piece of Cap'n Wacky merchandise!).
Cap'n Wacky's Boatload of Fun launches August 3, is updated August 20, and will be subsequently re-fortified with fresh comedy on the first of each month. Check in early, and check back often.
It's certainly better than http://www.geocities.com/MadisonAvenue/8660/
Tell your friends to visit http://www.capnwacky.com! It's like a pyramid scheme without the money!