Amalgamated Humor's Disgruntled Employee of the Month

Each month, Amalgamated Humor's Public Relations specialist, Gary Newbrunswick, puts the spotlight on a valued member of the Amalgamated Humor corporate family. In addition to an extra vacation day and photo with a receptionist from the executive office, they also get a featured interview.

December's Disgruntled Employee of the Month: Ted Helman

Gary Newbrunswick: Surprise!

Ted Helman: Oh- Oh hey, Gary, what's up?

Ted Helman

GN: You know the Disgruntled Employee of the Month feature on the web site?

TH: Yeah. Well, I mean, I've seen it up there, sure. Is it my turn or something?

GN: Well, for this holiday season, we're doing something a bit different.

TH: Yeah?

GN: Yes, you're getting a cubicle makeover!

TH: Oh. Um, okay. Sure. Why?

GN: Well, some of the folks in your department have noticed how you haven't decorated for Christmas like they all have, so today your workstation is getting transformed into a winter wonderland.

TH: Huh.

GN: Yup, folks decided that this arfea is going to be transformed from Grinch-ville to Santa Lane! What do you think about that?

TH: Well, actually, Gary--

GN: Hey, just because you don't have the Christmas spirit, doesn't mean you can't catch a little, so we all chipped in to get you some decorations! Here's what we have- a few strings of lights, a plastic santa, some sparkly garland, Helen Roberts donated some Precious Moments figurines and a lively little artificial tree from Target.

TH: Wow. That's a lot of trouble you went to, there.

GN: No trouble at all! No trouble to show someone the error of their ways and bring back the spirit of Christmas to glow in their heart!

TH: Um, Gary--

GN: Yeah?

TH: Did you ever think that there might possibly be a reason why I don't decorate?

GN: Well, we all just figured that you hated Christmas, probably because of some childhood trauma.

TH: Gary, think. Is it just possible that I have another reason... maybe because I celebrate something else?

GN: Celebrate something else? Like what? Oh! That Hand thing!

TH: Hanukkah.

GN: Hanukkah! Yeah... oh... oh geez, I'm sorry.

TH: No need to be. It's okay. You meant well, but I just don't parade my religion around the office, because I don't really think it's in anyone else's interest. I don't mind the Christmas decorations and all-- In fact, I like quite a lot of it. But it's just not the way I celebrate.

GN: I, uh... hey, you want a candle? I have some of those from Karen Price's office.

TH: No.

GN: Okay. So, uh, yeah. Happy Hanukkah, then.

TH: Hasn't started yet, but thank you anyway.

GN: Um, you're not going to sue or anything, are you?

TH: Gary, I have work to do. I'm busy.

GN: Right. I'll just go, then.

Click Here for the Disgruntled Employee of the Month Archives