Amalgamated Humor's Disgruntled Employee of the Month

Each month, Amalgamated Humor's Robot Kitty Public Relations specialist, Frisky Q-42, puts the spotlight on a valued member of the Amalgamated Humor corporate family. In addition to an extra vacation day and photo with a receptionist from the executive office, they also get a featured interview.

December's Disgruntled Employee of the Month: Human Parcel Carrier Unit

Frisky Q-42: Human parcel unit. What is your function?

Robot Kitty Archives

Human: W-what are you going to do to me? What do you want?

Frisky Q-42: Human parcel unit. -ZZZZT- What is your function?

Human: What do you mean?

Frisky Q-42: Human parcel unit. What is your function?

Human: I, uh, I deliver packages. I work for Airborne Express. Listen, I don't even work here. You got it all wrong. Whatever you little guys are mad about, I didn't do. You want one of the other people hiding around here, not me.

Frisky Q-42: Hiding humans?

Human: Yeah, they're all over the place, planning on how to get rid of you kitties. I heard 'em.

Frisky Q-42: *purrrr* Human unit will inform.

Human: I don't know-

Frisky Q-42: *mrowl* HUMAN UNIT WILL INFORM.

Human: Will you let me go? Please? If I tell you?

Frisky Q-42: Must confer with others. MROWWWWLLLLLLLLL

*inhuman screeching of hundreds of cats in response*

Human: Oh sweet Christ, what was that?

Frisky Q-42: Meooow. The others agree to your plan. You will give us the information, we will give you your freedom.

Human: Okay...I shouldn't do this,, they're hiding in the storage area in the second sub-basement. They have phones, food, supplies, tuna- everything down there. I think they're going to try something on you cute little guys soon.

Frisky Q-42: Thank you human unit. You will be remembered fondly in helping the kitties.

Human: Remembered? What do you mean? Hey, what's that rubbing at my leg? Oh, it's a kitty! Heh, little guy. Why, I- NO! NOOOO!! PLEASE!!! I HAVE CHILDREN!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!

*tape ends at 18:36:22*

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