Amalgamated Humor's Disgruntled Employee of the Month

Each month, Amalgamated Humor's Public Relations specialist, Gary Newbrunswick, puts the spotlight on a valued member of the Amalgamated Humor corporate family. In addition to an extra vacation day and photo with a receptionist from the executive office, they also get a featured interview.

November's Disgruntled Employee of the Month: The Telesupport 1117 Automated Phone System

Amalgamated Humor's beloved T1117. Or, as folks like to call it, "Old T1117."
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Gary Newbrunswick: Congratulations.

Telesupport 1117 Automated Phone System: Hello, and welcome to Amalgamated Humor Incorporated. If you are calling to order an Amalgamated Humor Product, please press "1"; if you are calling about a pending lawsuit against Amalgamated Humor, please press "2"; if you wish to file a new lawsuit against Amalgamated Humor, please press "3".

GN: How long have you been working here?

T1117: If you have been bruised, maimed, or made sterile while using one of our products, please press "4".

GN: What kind of special training did you get to master your job? Did you go to college?

T1117: If you have fallen in love with Cap'n Wacky or believe Cap'n Wacky can hear your thoughts, please press "5".

GN: What's one thing no one else at work knows about you?

T1117: If you are a former Amalgamated Humor Employee who wishes to exact revenge, please press "6".

GN: That's great. If you were a cloud, what kind of could would you be?

T1117: If you are calling to complain about the content of our website, please press "7".

GN: Tell me about your family.

T1117: If you wish to hear the warm voice of another human-being instead of the cold metallic hiss of a computer recording, don't hold your breath.

GN: Have you ever met Mr. Brockie or Mr. White?

T1117: If you wish to hear this menu again, press the "pound" button.

GN: Who do you like in the game this weekend?

T1117: Hola, y recepción al Amalgamated Humor Incorporated. Si usted está llamando para pedir un producto unido del humor, presione por favor " 1 "; si usted está llamando sobre un pleito pendiente contra humor unido, presione por favor " 2 "; si usted desea clasifiar un nuevo pleito contra humor unido, presione por favor " 3 ".

GN: Seen any good movies lately?

T1117: "The Runaway Bride" had me laughing AND crying.

Click Here for the Disgruntled Employee of the Month Archives