November's Disgruntled Employee of the Month: Denise Wah, Amalgamated Humor masseuse
GARY NEWBRUNSWICK: Congratulations, Denise!
DENISE WAH: Oh no, Mr. Gary. You need massage again?
GN: No no, Denise. I asked you to come in here because you've been selected as this month's Disgruntled Employee of the Month!
DW: So you no need massage?
GN: Well, I guess I wouldn't say "no" to one.
DW: I thought so, Mr. Gary. OK, lay down.
GN: Right. There you go. OK, so how long have you been with the company now?
DW: Three year, Mr. Gary. Oh, you are so tense! You're neck muscles all twisted up like...
DW: No, pretzel too soft. More like -
GN: What? They make some pretty hard pretzels.
DW: I like the Hot Sam. Your neck muscles hard like...
DW: Stone not twisted. Something hard and twisted. Maybe roots.
GN: OK. So why does Amalgamated Humor even have a full time masseuse?
DW: Everybody tense.
GN: Why's that, do you think?
DW: Oh, work for crazy people.
GN: I guess.
DW: Crazy people with no souls. Dangerous combination.
DW: Oh, you such a cry baby.
GN: That hurt!
DW: Of course that hurt, your back all bunched up like bachelor's laundry.
GN: You use the strangest metaphors.
DW: At least I try to come up with something different, pretzel boy.
GN: So, I imagine one of the hazards of your job is men trying to get fresh with you. Does that ever happen?
DW: You mean, besides you, Mr. Gary?
GN: What? I never tried anything!
DW: Yeah, OK. If that your story on the record.
GN: I didn't!
DW: OK, but why not?
DW: I'm sexy. I know it.
GN: Uh... I don't know what to say.
DW: Oh, Mr. Gary! You're gay!
GN: No, I'm not!
DW: My brother told me all men with moustaches are gay, but I thought he was just crazy from the paint fumes.
GN: I'm not gay!
DW: They why you not try to throw me on massage table and mix your sweat with mine?
GN: Well... it wouldn't be appropriate!
DW: What could be more appropriate than man and woman intertwined?
GN: Uh... I have no idea what to say to that.
DW: Mr. Gary tense.
GN: Was that a haiku?
DW: No more speak, Mr. Gary. Shhh..... shh.....