September's featured employee: Secretary to the Presidents, Miss Randi Vavoom
Gary Newbrunswick: Congratulations, Randi.
Randi Vavoom: Thanks!
GN: How long have you been working for Amalgamated Humor?
RV: For almost a year now, since I turned 18. Mr. White hired me right after I won the Miss Muskegon beauty contest.
GN: And what do you do here?
RV: I'm the secretary to the presidents, Mr. White and Mr. Brockie.
GN: Right. And what does that entail?
RV: Oh, not much.
GN: Answering phones?
RV: No, we've got an automated system for that.
GN: Sorting mail?
RV: No, the boys in the sub-basement mail room take care of that.
RV: I used to, but I kept breaking nails. Now the other Secretary to the Presidents, Mrs. Eunice Crabknees does all the typing.
GN: So what do you do?
RV: Well, I do have to do a lot of filing. I'm back and forth from by desk to the file cabinet all day, filing things.
RV: And the presidents will often supervise the filing, to make sure I do it right.
GN: I see.
RV: You'd be surprised how many files start with X, Y, and Z.
GN: No, I wouldn't. Anyway, what do you do when you aren't at the office. What are your hobbies?
RV: Well, I like to exercise, apply makeup, and have the occasional plastic surgery.
GN: Who doesn't? Well, congratulations, Randi.
RV: Thanks, it's been a pleasure.
GN: Oh, the pleasure's been all mine.
RV: Everybody says that.