August's Disgruntled Employee of the Month: Gary Newbrunswick
Gary Newbrunswick: You know, I've felt you've been deserving the Disgruntled Employee of the Month title for quite some time now. You're in charge of choosing who gets it, so tell me what took so long?
Gary Newbrunswick: Well, I didn't want to make it look like I was patting myself on the back, Gary.
GN: I can see that, but you certainly are deserving of the accolade.
GN: Well, thanks. I guess I agree. That's why I finally picked myself now, even though I still had some reservations.
GN: So tell me a little bit about what you do for Amalgamated Humor, Inc.
GN: Do you have about a week? Ha Ha. Seriously, though, my title is Public Relations. My main responsibility is making sure the company has a positive image in the public eye.
GN: Ouch, no wonder you're so busy.
GN: I know. It's like the entire company is in charge of making messes for me to clean up.
GN: Any good stuff you covered up that never got out you can tell us about?
GN: Well, I probably shouldn't.
GN: Oh, don't worry about it. I check the site stats, no one ever reads these Disgruntled interviews anyway.
GN: OK, then. I guess so. Well, remember Milli Vanilli?
GN: Well, remember how it came out that they didn't really sing their own songs, they were just lip-syncing?
GN: Didn't you ever wonder who WAS singing all those songs?
GN: Gosh, I never even thought about it.
GN: Good. I made sure that question never even came up.
GN: But why? What does that even have to do with Amalgamated Humor?
GN: The guys really singing those songs were company presidents RJ White and Brodie H. Brockie
GN: Wow. That could be some pretty damaging stuff.
GN: No kidding. "Blame it on the Rain?" What a bunch of crap.
GN: Say, what does "RJ" stand for anyway?
GN: Sorry. Confidentiality agreement. I'm taking that one to the grave.
GN: OK, then. Just one more question - do you have any conception of what a handsome, handsome man you are?
GN: Yes I do, Gary, but it's nice of you to mention.