Amalgamated Humor's Disgruntled Employee of the Month

Each month, Amalgamated Humor's Public Relations specialist, Gary Newbrunswick, puts the spotlight on a valued member of the Amalgamated Humor corporate family. In addition to an extra vacation day and photo with a receptionist from the executive office, they also get a featured interview.

June's Disgruntled Employees of the Month: Fred Grant, Police Officer

Fred Grant: Could I see your license and registration please?

Gary Newbrunswick: Certainly, officer.

FG: Do you know why I pulled you over?

Officer Fred Grant.

GN: Uh... no. Well, I might've been a little over the speed limit.

FG: You got it. 50 in a 35. What's the rush?

GN: That much over?

FG: That much.

GN: Well, I'm running a little late for work this morning.

FG: Uh huh.

GN: The boss hates it when I'm late. You know how it is.

FG: Uh huh.

GN: Man, a ticket sure would jack up my insurance prices.

FG: Uh huh.

GN: But, hey, I know how it is. You're just doing your job.

FG: That's right.

GN: And I for one am damn glad you're doing it. It's a thankless job sometimes, I bet, being a police officer.

FG: Yes.

GN: Facing danger and keeping the rest of us safe from harm. A servent of the people.

FG: Yep.

GN: An employee of the common man.

FG: Uh huh.

GN: You know, you could even say we were co-workers.

FG: How's that?

GN: Well, local businesses taxes help pay your salary, right?

FG: Yeah, but...

GN: So I work for a local business. Amalgamated Humor. They pay us both, so we're co-workers.

FG: No we're not.

GN: You know it's part of my job to pick our company's employee of the month.

FG: Mmm hmm.

GN: We call it Disgruntled Employee of the Month. You know, for laughs.

FG: Mmm.

GN: Ha ha. So anyway, I just had the idea of naming YOU our employee of the month! How about that?

FG: It makes no sense.

GN: It's quite a rare honor.

FG: Rare?

GN: Sure.

FG: You do it every month, right?

GN: Well, sure, but...

FG: Please tell me you're not trying to bribe me with this honor of yours.

GN: What? Bribe? No.

FG: Because that is the saddest attempt at a bribe I've ever heard.

GN: Ha ha. Bribe. No, no. I just think our boys in blue are due for the honor.

FG: Right. Well, gee. On behalf of policemen everywhere, thanks a lot.

GN: Hey, it's the least I can do. Give a little back.

FG: OK. I'll be right back with your ticket then.

GN: God damn it.

Click Here for the Disgruntled Employee of the Month Archives