June's Disgruntled Employee of the Month: Judy Marbles
Gary Newbrunswick: Let me start by saying that, for me, the summer doesn't start when the calendar says it does, it starts on the first day I hear the Amalgamated Humor Ice Cream Truck rolling down the street with its little music box pinging out the tune from the old Cap'n Wacky cartoon series. I know it's the same for people all over the country. This month we salute the jolly drivers of all of these trucks by picking our local driver, Judy Marble, as the Disgruntled Employee of the Month. Congrats, Judy.
Judy Marbles: On behalf of all the drivers, I thank you.
GN: Now, Judy. How many Cap'n Wacky Pops would you say you go through a day?
JM: How many do I sell? I'd say about-
GN: No, I mean how many do YOU go through, personally, in a day. 10? 15?
GN: I'm sorry. I'm making assumptions, aren't I?
JM: I should say so!
GN: There are lots of different treats to choose from - The Amalgamated Humor Bar, the JimmiCone, and so on. Any one might be your favorite. Or perhaps you like a variety.
JM: I don't think you-
GN: Anyway, whichever kind, how many do you go through in a day? Is it over 15? I've got some money down on it.
JM: I don't eat any!
GN: Right. Seriously, though. 20?
JM: No. Seriously, I don't.
GN:: What? Oh, I get it. You don't pay for them and you're afraid you'll get in trouble.
JM: No, that's not it.
GN: Then you're embarrassed about the amount. It's OK. We can all see you're a hefty gal. There's no need to be shy.
JM: I... I...
GN: Because you can't hide it.
JM: I have never been so insulted in my life.
GN: Really? I'm surprised. A big girl like yourself, I'd think you'd get this all the time.
JM: That does it, Mr. Newbrunswick! I quit! I don't need this job! I could go work for my brother at his bakery!
GN: Mmm. You'll be rolling in donuts.
JM: You're a cruel man, Gary.
GN: Hey, before you go. Now that you don't work for us, you can be honest with me. On average, how many ice cream treats would you say you consumed a day?
GN: I knew it! Gordy Schwartz owes me ten bucks!
JM: I hate you almost as much as I hate myself.