Amalgamated Humor's Disgruntled Employee of the Month

Each month, Amalgamated Humor's Public Relations specialist, Gary Newbrunswick, puts the spotlight on a valued member of the Amalgamated Humor corporate family. In addition to an extra vacation day and photo with a receptionist from the executive office, they also get a featured interview.

This month's Disgruntled Employee of the Month: Sean Latimer.

Gary Newbrunswick: Sean?

Sean Latimer: What? Oh, oh hey. Um, Gary! How you doing, man?

Sean Latimer

GN: Huh. Funny thing. It's your turn to be the featured employee on the site-

SL: Oh, cool.

GN: Yeah, right, cool. Well, I tried to find you at the office to do the interview today and your supervisor said you were out sick for a couple of weeks. With pneumonia.

SL: Um...

GN: So, imagine my surprise, when I'm driving home, look over here and say to myself, "I'll be damned if it isn't Sean Lawrence, sitting outside of a movie theater, dressed as a-" What is that, a monk costume?

SL: Jedi.

GN: Those Star Wars guys? Why... oh no, you're not.

SL: May 19th! Woo! First in line!

GN: Sean, there is no line.

SL: Well, my buddy Rick went to get dinner. You want to wait on line here for a bit, feel the magic?

GN: Magic.

SL: Yeah, knowing you're a part of history! Being able to tell your grandkids you were there!

GN: Sitting outside of a movie theater for three weeks.

SL: Yeah, magic! We got a tent and everything!

GN: Why? I mean, it's not even... listen, did you see the other two?

SL: Yeah, man! Thirty-sixth and twelfth in line!

GN: Okay. Well, didn't you think they were a little, you know, not good? At all?

SL: Well, yeah, I guess Episode 2 wasn't quite as awesome. I only saw that one fifteen times.

GN: Oh geez.

SL: Eh, look at you there, with your fancy suit. You're probably a Trek fan. That boring, lame-

GN: Hey- listen, you little punk. Gene Roddenberry had more talent in his little finger than Lucas does in that fat damned bearded head of his.

SL: Sure, that's why the last three movies tanked.

GN: At least Nemesis didn't have crap dialogue like "The sand gets everywhere." What the hell was that?

SL: Hey, he's right- sand does get everywhere.

GN: He has you so deluded.

SL: Back off, man.

GN: Just a bunch pseudo-mythological ripoff junk that can't even keep its own story straight.

SL: Okay, that's it.

GN: Woah- hey-

[sound of scuffling]

SL: Take it back! Take it all back!

GN: Ow! Watch it-

Manager: Hey! Break it up you two. Break it up. Listen, we're tired of you nerds scaring paying customers away. Take your little freakshow outta here, or else I'm calling the cops.

SL: But he started it!

Manager: Okay, that's it, Obi-Wan. You're banned.

SL: Hey!

GN: Hah!

Manager: You too, tough guy.

GN: What? I'm not even in line.

Manager: Hit the bricks pal, or I'm calling- I mean it.

SL: Damn you, Newbrunswick! You've cost me the Revenge of the Sith!

GN: Do you have any idea how stupid that sounds? Besides, there are something like three other theatres in town!

SL: You'll pay for this!

GN: Whatever.

[Silence for five minutes]

Rick: Hey, they were out of corn dogs, so I got funnel cake, instead. Hey, where'd you go?

Click Here for the Disgruntled Employee of the Month Archives