April's Disgruntled Employee of the Month: Toby "Gopher" O'Hallahan
Gary Newbrunswick: Congratulations, Toby.
Toby "Gopher" O'Hallahan: Thanks, Mr. Newbrunswick. Can I get you anything?
GN: No, thanks.
T "G" O'H: You sure? Coffee?
GN: No, thanks.
T "G" O'H: Water? Soda?
GN: Really, Toby. I'm fine.
T "G" O'H: Because it's no problem.
GN: I don't want anything. I'm here to interview you.
T "G" O'H: Well, OK. If you're sure. Just let me know if at any time you change you're mind.
GN: Will do. Now why don't you tell me what your job title is.
T "G" O'H: I'm an errand boy.
GN: And what do you do for us here at Amalgamated Humor?
T "G" O'H: Oh, I run any errand that company officers need done. I get beverages, delivery packages and memos, distract and delay spouses, that sort of thing.
GN: Do you enjoy it?
T "G" O'H: Gosh yes, Mr. Newbrunswick. I think it's swell! I'll show you how much I like it! Give me an errand to run!
GN: I really don't have any right now, Toby. Besides, we need to finish this interview.
T "G" O'H: I'm awfully fast.
GN: I know. Now tell me, what do you hope to do when you grow up?
T "G" O'H: Well, I hope to stay on here at Amalgamated Humor, helping spread the laughter.
GN: Right. In what capacity?
T "G" O'H: Golly, Mr. NewB. I haven't thought much about it. Maybe I'll just stay on as errand boy.
GN: Well, Toby, I think (clears throat). Excuse me.
T "G" O'H: Gosh, Mr. NewB, you sound parched.
GN: I'm fine.
T "G" O'H: Let me get you something.
T "G" O'H: Water?
GN: No thank you.
T "G" O'H: A lozenge?
GN: Stop it.
T "G" O'H: Anything?
GN: You've never had to sit still this long in your life, have you, Toby?
T "G" O'H: No, and it's making the crickets that live in my head just scream like ain't nobody's business.
GN: What was that?
T "G" O'H: I'll go get that water!