Amalgamated Humor's Disgruntled Employee of the Month

Each month, Amalgamated Humor's Public Relations specialist, Gary Newbrunswick, puts the spotlight on a valued member of the Amalgamated Humor corporate family. In addition to an extra vacation day and photo with a receptionist from the executive office, they also get a featured interview.

April's Disgruntled Employee of the Month: Toby "Gopher" O'Hallahan

Gary Newbrunswick: Congratulations, Toby.

Toby "Gopher" O'Hallahan: Thanks, Mr. Newbrunswick. Can I get you anything?

GN: No, thanks.

T "G" O'H: You sure? Coffee?

GN: No, thanks.

T "G" O'H: Water? Soda?

GN: Really, Toby. I'm fine.

T "G" O'H: Because it's no problem.

GN: I don't want anything. I'm here to interview you.

T "G" O'H: Well, OK. If you're sure. Just let me know if at any time you change you're mind.

GN: Will do. Now why don't you tell me what your job title is.

T "G" O'H: I'm an errand boy.

GN: And what do you do for us here at Amalgamated Humor?

T "G" O'H: Oh, I run any errand that company officers need done. I get beverages, delivery packages and memos, distract and delay spouses, that sort of thing.

GN: Do you enjoy it?

T "G" O'H: Gosh yes, Mr. Newbrunswick. I think it's swell! I'll show you how much I like it! Give me an errand to run!

GN: I really don't have any right now, Toby. Besides, we need to finish this interview.

T "G" O'H: I'm awfully fast.

GN: I know. Now tell me, what do you hope to do when you grow up?

T "G" O'H: Well, I hope to stay on here at Amalgamated Humor, helping spread the laughter.

GN: Right. In what capacity?

T "G" O'H: Golly, Mr. NewB. I haven't thought much about it. Maybe I'll just stay on as errand boy.

GN: Well, Toby, I think (clears throat). Excuse me.

T "G" O'H: Gosh, Mr. NewB, you sound parched.

GN: I'm fine.

T "G" O'H: Let me get you something.

GN: No.

T "G" O'H: Water?

GN: No thank you.

T "G" O'H: A lozenge?

GN: Stop it.

T "G" O'H: Anything?

GN: You've never had to sit still this long in your life, have you, Toby?

T "G" O'H: No, and it's making the crickets that live in my head just scream like ain't nobody's business.

GN: What was that?

T "G" O'H: I'll go get that water!

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