March's Disgruntled Employee of the Month: Thor
Gary Newbrunswick: Congrats, Thor.
Thor: I thank thee, friend Gary.
GN: Tell us what you do here at Amalgamated Humor.
T: I labor in the docking area, loading and unloading heavy objects from 18-wheeled chariots.
GN: Also known as trucks.
T: Yes, I have heard them called so.
GN: I hear you're very good at your job.
T: My foreman hath remarked that I am the mightiest worker who hath ever loaded and loaded in his employ.
GN: And what did you do before you came to work at Amalgamated Humor?
T: I was the God of the Thunder in sweet Asgard, home of the Norse Gods. I protected that jeweled paradise from enemies both without and within: trolls, frost giants, and my scheming half-brother Loki.
GN: Hmm. That sounds like a pretty good job. Why did you leave it?
T: Well, Odin, the all-father (and my father) deemed my manner too self-congratulatory and banished me to Midgard to teach me humility.
GN: Oh. Well, it can be pretty tough working for your own dad.
T: Tell me about it.
G: And are you still a god then?
T: Of course, foolish mortal. Can you not sense the power and majesty of my very being well in my presence?
GN: Uh, not really, but I kind of have a cold right now. Anyway, how much do you get paid there in the loading/unloading area?
T: Nearly double that of the minimum wage for I am the mightiest of all manual laborers!
GN: And how's that humility thing coming?
T: Not so good.