Amalgamated Humor's Disgruntled Employee of the Month

Each month, Amalgamated Humor's Public Relations specialist, Gary Newbrunswick, puts the spotlight on a valued member of the Amalgamated Humor corporate family. In addition to an extra vacation day and photo with a receptionist from the executive office, they also get a featured interview.

February's Disgruntled Employee of the Month: Kenna Purnis

Gary Newbrunswick: Kenna, you're in our acquisitions department, is that right?

Kenna Purnis with a velvet painting of Jesse Ventura she recently acquired.
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Kenna Purnis: That's correct.

GN: Tell us a little bit about what you do there.

KP: Well, I acquire things.

GN: Right. But what kind of things?

KP: Well, I acquired a great Tiki statue for Mr. Brockie's office at a Kiwanis sale last week - he's very happy with it. For Mr. White, I recently acquired a specific seat cushion he wanted that's shaped sort of like a horseshoe. I spend a lot of time looking for bargains on eGad or -

GN: Waitaminute, that's what you do?

KP: Yeah, mostly.

GN: I didn't think that was what someone in acquisitions did.

KP: No?

GN: Who trained you?

KP: Well, nobody trained me really, they just told me to start acquiring.

GN: Well, I'm pretty sure that's not what someone in acquisitions does.

KP: Really?

GN: Really.

KP: Well, what does someone in acquisitions do?

GN: I uh... I think it has to do with one company buying another company.

KP: Oh... wow.

GN: So you should start working on that.


GN: Glad we could straighten that out.

KP: Say, if I was doing the entirely wrong job for all this time, how did I get picked as employee of the month?

GN: Well...

KP: What do you do, just randomly pick some employee without even paying attention to how well he or she does his or her job?

GN: It's a lot faster that way.

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