February's Disgruntled Employee of the Month: Pam Wilson
Gary Newbrunswick: Congrats, Pam.
Pam Wilson: Thanks, Gary.
GN: Why don't you tell us a little about what you do here at Amalgamated Humor?
PW: Sure. I'm in charge of the daycare center at the main corporate office. Employees drop of their pre-school aged kids here in the morning and we have fun all day until mommy and/or daddy are done with work.
GN: You must love kids.
PW: I sure do.
GN: Did you work with kids at all before you started here?
PW: Oh sure, I spent almost a whole year as a schoolteacher.
GN: Before the big bucks here at AH lured you away?
PW: No, before I was fired.
GN: Oh. Uh.
GN: Why were you, um, fired?
PW: Oh, you know how schools are these days. It's all bureaucracy, all politics.
GN: Mmm Hmm. More specific please?
PW: Well, some people on the school board had problems with some of the things I was teaching in class.
GN: Such as...?
PW: Well, you know with the special effects they can do on TV, they can fake almost anything.
GN: Go on.
PW: Well, I just opened the kids minds to the possibility that maybe, let me repeat that last word, maybe the NASA moon landing was a hoax.
PW: Right, and if I happened to state that it was my particular inclination that said lunar landing was in fact a hoax and part of a larger government conspiracy to divert our attention from funds that were not being spent on the space program, but instead on genetically engineering a race of super soldiers who only needed to eat once a day and void their waste products once a week, I don't see how that's a big problem.
GN: You don't.
PW: No. I didn't say these things were facts. I said they were also possibilities. Valid possibilities that could not be disproved and which I happened to believe in. Deeply.
GN: Oh dear.
PW: And if the school board is too prudish to accept the very graphic sexual-education videos I was showing, I think maybe they are the ones with the problem, not me.
GN: What, uh - what grade did you teach?
PW: First grade.
GN: Oh, God.
PW: Don't feel too bad, Gary. I have a good job now with Amalgamated Humor. I'm just happy to be working with kids again.
GN: Yes, well...
PW: I'm looking forward to seeing little Gary Jr.'s show and tell on Friday.
GN: I wouldn't get my hopes up, Pam.
PW: No? Won't little Gary Jr. be in on Friday?
GN: Let's just say "Maybe."