Amalgamated Humor's Disgruntled Employee of the Month

Each month, Amalgamated Humor's Public Relations specialist, Gary Newbrunswick, puts the spotlight on a valued member of the Amalgamated Humor corporate family. In addition to an extra vacation day and photo with a receptionist from the executive office, they also get a featured interview.

January's Disgruntled Employee of the Month: John Vickers

Gary Newbrunswick: So, you're new around here?

John Vickers
Amalgamated Humor Archives

John Vickers: Well, sort of. I've been an assistant in the Executive Office for a couple of years, but was just recently assigned to my new job.

GN: Which is?

JV: Uh, Executive Administrative Assistant to Mr. Brockie.

GN: Really? What about Rocko and Tiny, his other "Executive Assistants?"

JV: They're taking care of Amalgamated Humor interests in Central America for a few months. Mr. White felt that in light of certain events over the past year- the robot kitty incident, the faked kidnapping, insulting the President of France- that it may not be in the company's best interests for Mr. Brockie to be left alone.

GN: So, a handler?

JV: That's kind of insulting to Mr. Brockie... I'm more of a...

GN: Babysitter?

JV: No, see, I-

GN: What do you have to do?

JV: Just stay around, make sure he doesn't get into things, cause problems-

GN: So, a babysitter.

JV: -sigh- Yes, I suppose.

GN: Has it been tough so far?

JV: Well, a little, with the holidays and all. I have to stay in a guest room at his house, drive him in, follow him to his bi-weekly craps game. New Year's Eve was hard.

GN: Oh, lots of partying?

JV: No, it was just sad. Mr. Brockie spent the entire night in his den with a thermos of Amaretto Sours and a loaded pistol, crying and watching the Marx Bros. marathon on Turner Classic Movies.

GN: Oh my god, what did you do?

JV: Nothing, really. I had my girlfriend over and we had dinner and watched movies in another part of the house.

GN: No, I meant about Mr. Brockie! Weren't you worried he'd do something drastic?

JV: Not really. Mr. White gave me strict instructions not to discourage that sort of thing.

GN: Of course. So, is it hard to keep tabs on him?

JV: He's snuck away a couple of times, but I usually find him down at the pool hall, getting taken by a grifter in from a large midwestern city. He's harmless, though. I don't see what the fuss is about. He's just this hapless idiot man-child who-

(A loud explosion is heard. Mr. Brockie runs into the office.)

Mr. Brockie: You never saw me!

(Mr. Brockie runs out of the office, Mr. White runs in)

Mr. White: Where's Brockie? I'll ring his neck for blowing up my new humidor! Vic-kers!

JV: I'm going to hate this job.

GN: Better you than me, pal.

(Wacky theme music plays)

Click Here for the Disgruntled Employee of the Month Archives