January's Disgruntled Employee of the Month: Jason Haver, Amalgamated Humor Y2K Preparedness Specialist
Gary Newbrunswick: Jason, tell the folks about your job.
Jason Haver: Well, Gary, for the past year and a half, I've been spearheading preparations for the Y2K bug here at the company. Making sure software's up to date, replacing outmoded systems, making sure our files were protected against possible new year virus attacks, that sort of thing.
GN: Wow, sounds like a tough job.
JH: Oh, it was. It's been a lot more challenging than my old position as a systems admin. It was pretty much just me, the whole time. Worked round the clock for pretty much the last six months, with no vacation. I even missed my daughter's first Christmas. She said her first word, too. "Da-Da." My wife was kind of upset, but she understands.
GN: Did you have to work over the new year, too?
JH: Actually, Mr. White insisted that someone be here in the Y2K Command Facility he had built to make sure the transition went smoothly. So, I was there for the entire week before and after New Year's. I guess my father, who I haven't spoken to in about six years called me, but I missed it. But, hey, we were prepared.
GN: And how much did all of this cost?
JH: Let's see- with overtime, hardware...hmmm. About $800,000.
GN: How did the changeover to 2000 go? Any problems?
GN: Any computers crash?
GN: No problems whatsoever?
JH: No. Thankfully, it went as smoothly as possible.
GN: So, what sort of job are you looking for now?
JH: I'm not, why?
GN: Well, it's just that nothing happened, and Y2K has passed, and it looks like we didn't need you in the first place.
JH: How do you mean?
GN: Let's face it- $800,000? On what? Nothing happened.
JH: But if you hadn't spent that money, if I hadn't have fixed those systems, we could have lost millions.
GN: Oh, sure, you say that now-
JH: But I fixed a bunch of other things in the process- streamlined the shipping database, got rid of old systems that would have collapsed in a few years! This is crazy!
GN: That's well and good, but we have to recoup the money wasted on this so-called "Y2K" project by firing nonessential employees.
JH: But- but my wife! She'll leave me!
GN: Should've thought of that before you took a job that would be obsolete in a year and a half.