Ask Zonar: The section that started the Zonar craze! You pathetic excuses for readers ask me questions and I deign to shine the light of my wisdom upon you.

Zonar's Reviews of Movies I Have No Intention of Seeing: Hollywood is a lot like the human digestive system, no matter what you put in, it all comes out crap. I do not waste my precious time upon the trifle which Hollywood spews out, but this doesn't stop me from reviewing these pieces of cinematic excrement with unsettling accuracy.

Mental Rays: Zonar has many opinions. Surprisingly, he is quite eager to share them. Loudly.

Meet Zonar

Name: Zonar
Race: Superion
Home Planet: Superion
Flesh: Green
Eyes: Bulging and orange
Teeth: Pointy

Ingests: He says he just eats "atoms," and won't get more specific.

Interesting biological facts: 100% efficient, the Superion body makes no waste products. Also, Zonar claims to be able to emit devistatingly painful mental rays from the top of his head.

Zonar Store! Hats, T-Shirts, Cheap Tote Bags! Consume!