It was early morning on May 30 as Heinrich Flimminhoffer (President of Amalamated Humor since the deaths of founders Sheky "Ralph" Brockie and Ichabod Lancaster White), noticed something was awry as he began to pull into the company factory. It took him only a few moments to realize what had changed - the giant statue of corporate mascot Cap'n Wacky that greeted factory workers and visitors was missing!
A note from the abductors was soon found. It read:
"Dear dudes, We were, like, talking the other day about how, um, cool it
would be if like all the cats in the world were just living as totally free as
we were, right? And we thought, like, hey, remember Cap'n Wacky?
And, of course, we all remember the Cap'n, dig? We all grew up like,
wearing little Cap'n Wacky hats as kids and stuff. So we thought, like,
nobody ever seemed more totally free than Cap'n Wacky when we were
kids, but now that we're more maturilized, we know that the Cap'n is
really more of a sort of slave to your company.
So that, man, is why we have liberated the Cap'n.
Sincerely,
The Wackiteers"
Needless to say, Flimminhoffer was furious (however, most who knew him say that Flimminhoffer agree that he was generally pretty angry most of the time anyway.
"Ve vill find zees flithy heepies!" Flimminhoffer announced to the press, pounding on his podium and and moistening the crowd with his spraying saliva. "The Cap'n vill be returned, und ve vill haff revenge!" Well, "The Kaiser" (as Flimminhoffer was often called by his underlings) was right. The hippies who stole the Cap'n were eventually caught and executed (unlawful abduction of a corporate mascot was a capital offense in those days), but not before Cap'n Wacky spent several months away from his home. The statue showed up often during that time, notably in San Fransico, at the Summer of Love Festival, and in India with Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. How Cap'n Wacky made it all the way to India has never been discovered. When asked about this during the trial, the hippies who stole him pleaded the fifth and a half (failure to remember due to massive quantities of drugs).
Below are some links to photos of Cap'n Wacky during the summer of 1967.
