This is the movie version of the stage version of the movie version. If
they keep adapting this back and forth and back and forth, maybe someday
one of Mel Brooks' jokes may actually get watered down enough that it
accidentally contains trace amounts of subtlety.
The gay cowboy movie. Named Brokeback Mountain. Brokeback. Try a little
tenderness, boys, it's not a rodeo.
Alternate and equally-subtle titles for the gay cowboy movie:
Ride 'em, Cowboy
Not-So-Butch Cassidy and the Funpants Kid
Rhinestone Cowboy 2
This movie is about Johnny Knoxville "pretending" to be retarded in order
to win the Special Olympics. This is like a movie about Adam Sandler
"pretending" to be annoying, Heather Graham "pretending" to have a career
just because of her chest, or me "pretending" to hate them all.
Seriously, anyone who decided to star in The Dukes of Hazzard movie has
got to be a little retarded, right? Not just Jessica Simpson.
Cheaper by the Dozen 2
Now even cheaper!
Keep up the good work, Steve, you've alllllmost complete chipped away the
good reputation you used to have. If they ever actually release your Pink
Panther remake, that should finish it off. Oh wait, Shopgirl was supposed
to help your reputation a little, wasn't it? Wouldn't people have to have
gone to see it for that to work, though?
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe
Disney is promoting this movie in desperate ways to try to cash in on
other recent hits. It's hard-luck British kids - like Harry Potter! It's
pretty people fighting monsters with swords - like The Lord of the Rings!
It's all Jesus-riffic - like The Passion of the Christ! It's stiff and
boring - like the Polar Express!
Walk the Line
Finally, a version of last year's Ray for everyone who hates black people.
Archive of past reviews - CLICK HERE
Looking for "Ask Zonar" columns? CLICK HERE
Agree? Disagree? E-mail email@example.com