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MADE OF HONOR
I realize that since I am not a human female, but rather an asexual (and occasionally male) asexual alien life form, I am probably not in the Patrick Dempsey target demographic. Still, I must ask clarification regarding his nickname, "McDreamy." Is he called that because his physical appearance is thought to be attractive or because he always seems to be partially asleep when he's meant to be acting?

DR. SEUSS' HORTON HEARS A WHO
Note that the name of the beloved human children's author has been official grafted right to the title of this film, conveying the message that this is an especially faithful adaptation of the departed writer's original work. Judging by the previews, apparently the good doctor not only wrote very tired jokes about fathers embarrassing their mopey teenage sons by awkward use of modern popular slang, but he also included a pop song by Air Supply.

Keep up the good caretaking, estate-holders!

IRON MAN
Having ruined the Spider-Man franchise, Marvel Comics has turned their attention to a second-tier character. If the notion of respected actor Robert Downey Jr. summoning aspects of his own life to portray a privileged powerful individual who is trying to do the write thing while being distracted by both life in the public eye and personal addiction sounds compelling to you, please remember that this is primarily a movie about a guy who shoots lasers at bad guys while wearing robot pants.

HAROLD AND KUMAR ESCAPE FROM GUANTANAMO BAY
The premise suggested by the title of this film may sound ludicrous, but I can actually swallow it. If Harold and Kumar can actually get a sequel made, I'll believe they can do anything.

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