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ALEX TREBEK: Hello, and welcome back to Jeopardy! As you can see, returning champion Zonar the Superion is currently in the lead with $8,312,568.00 after the first five minutes. I don't even know how that's possible, but there it is. Trailing behind are Dr. Steven Hawking and Reed Richards both with zero. Zonar, you have the board.
ZONAR: Thank you, poop machine. I shall take "Movies I Have No Intention of Seeing" for $200.
ALEX: Man on Fire
ZONAR: What is how you would like to picture the director of this picture suffering in the pits of Hell?
ZONAR: "Movies I Have No Intention of Seeing" for $400.
ALEX: 13 Going on 30
ZONAR: What are the number of years you feel you've aged in just two hours while watching this sugar-coated cliche?
ZONAR: "Movies I Have No Intention of Seeing" for $600.
ALEX: New York Minute
ALEX: Oh! And Stephen Hawking is the first on the buzzer!
ZONAR: You shall pay dearly for your hubris, frail human!
ALEX: Your answer, professor?
STEPHEN HAWKING: What is the amount of time you will be entertained during this film?
ALEX: Sorry, incorrect.
ZONAR: HA HA! Foolish human!
ZONAR: What is how long it will take you to decide to try to drown yourself in your double extra-large Diet Mountain Dew after realizing you've paid close to ten dollars to watch the damned Olsen Twins attempt to act and breathe at the same time?
ALEX: That's it!
ZONAR: Same category, $800.
ALEX: It's a Daily Double! How much would you like to wager?
ZONAR: All of it, of course, you bipedal impediment!
ALEX: That's a new one, isn't it?
ZONAR: Yes, did you like it?
ALEX: It's pretty good, yes.
ZONAR: The answer, now!
ZONAR: What is the emotion this film will make you feel toward everyone in the world who has not seen it?
ALEX: Right again!
ZONAR: Let's close it out, toilet monkey!
ZONAR: What are the closing credits?
ALEX: And Zonar has swept the category.
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