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MILLION DOLLAR BABY

I think I would be more inclined to see this movie if it were called The Six Million Dollar Baby and were about Clint Eastwood's hilarious mishaps while trying to raise a baby with bionic enhancements.

I would probably be more inclined to see this movie if it were Million POUND Baby and were about Clint Eastwood's hilarious mishaps while trying to raise a giant baby that the stork delivered to him by mistake.

But Million Dollar Baby? The story of Clint Eastwood's hilarious mishaps while trying to raise a baby that is so rich that it always wears a monocle and top hat and owns several railroads and a chain of hotels? Not interested.

SON OF THE MASK

A few years after the general populace has mostly forgotten about the existence of a somewhat popular movie seems the perfect time to make a ridiculously horrible-looking sequel with none of the original character or talent involved. What's that old saying "Mis-strike after the iron has cooled?" Hmmm... no, that's not it.

HITCH

I think it's a bad idea for the director of Sweet Home Alabama, Anna and the King, and The Amy Fisher Story to direct a movie with a title that's going to remind a lot of people of the one of the most respected film directors of all time. Comparison is not your friend, Andy Tennant. Not your friend at all.

THE PACIFIER

Gracious, but Vin Diesel has gotten to the Kindergarten Cop phase of his career rather quickly hasn't he? Let's hope he just keeps up this pace a into a speedy obscurity.

ARE WE THERE YET?

At the bottom of the barrel? Yes, we are.