By BRODIE H. BROCKIE with MANNING KRULL
Q: How many cupcakes does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, they just wait for the little girl to notice her Easy Bake Oven isn't working.
A traveling salesman is driving down an old country road one evening when his car breaks down. He walks to a nearby farmhouse and asks if he can stay the night before going to get help the next morning. The kindly farmer tells him he can stay, on the condition that he does not touch any of the extremely delicious cupcakes that he had just finished baking earlier in the day. In the middle of the night, the salesman wakes up hungry, walks down into the kitchen and eats all the cupcakes. The cupcakes totally let him too, because cupcakes are sluts like that.
Q: Why did the cupcake major in hotel and restaurant management?
A: It wanted to be a Hostess.
A cupcake goes in for a checkup and the doctor tells him, "you're totally unhealthy. You need to cut back on your intakes of eggs, butter, and sugar." To which the cupcake says, "doc, how am I supposed to do that? I'm a cupcake!" So the doctor ate him.
Q: Why did the cupcake crash his car?
A: He was totally baked.
A Chinese guy, a black guy, and a cupcake are lost in the desert. Eventually, they stumble on a lamp stuck in the sand, and figuring "why not?" give it a rub. Out comes a genie who says he will grant them three wishes, one apiece. The Chinese guy wishes to be sent back home and POOF - he's back home. The black guy wishes to be sent back home and POOF - he's back home. The cupcake wishes to be sent back home and the genie says, "Go to Hell. I don't take orders from cupcakes."
Q: Why did the cupcake buy Rogaine?
A: He thought he was losing his sprinkles.
Cupcakes drive like this...