By BEN FLASTER and BRODIE H. BROCKIE
AMERICAN IDOL PUNCHOUT: Jab your way through the also-rans from America's favorite singing competition. They've been dumped from the blue stage, and entered the squared circle. Start out by lacing up your gloves to beat down glass-jawed former co-host Brian Dunkleman and then moving up to stiffer competition like Mandisa. If you make through all the rejects, get ready for the final opponent - angry drunken Paula Abdul. She's not much of a challenge, but it's certainly satisfying.
GLOCKENSPIEL HERO: Just like Guitar Hero, but replacing the vulgar common rock riffs of the electric guitar with the under-appreciated, but heavenly tones of the glockenspiel. Glock on!
LABEL MAKER: You've got a new label maker! Run around several different immersive environments and label as many things as you can before time runs out. Every thing you see can be labeled! Label a lot and YOU'LL be labeled a WINNER!
TAX AUDIT- Using the engine developed for GTA, you move around an open environment gathering records and receipts for your upcoming audit.
THE LAST STARFREIGHTER- This completely fictitious game from new company Centauri Games tests your meddle as an intergalactic trucker, measuring your ability to read star maps, follow a schedule, and handle the mind-numbing constancy of space for days on end.
CHILD STAR RANCHER- This Japan-developed RPG lets you create and develop your own child star. Will they start out in commercials, movies or television? Will they burn hard and fast, or enjoy a sustained career? And can you keep them out of the bottom of a bottle and/or ditch?
CENSUS!- This RPG lets you develop your character as you move house to house, making note of who lives there.
SCATAMARI DAMACY- Like the better-known version, but with poop. So it's funny.
GRAND THEFT SILLY LITTLE KITTY- Wait, did I miss the last deadline?
WOMB RAIDER- In an Ultra-Christian, Police State future, you must run an underground abortion clinic.
HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPOS- Based on the popular board game, it's not like you don't just mash the buttons anyway, ya jerk.