(allegedly) By LEONARD PIERCE, CALAMITY JON MORRIS, BRODIE H. BROCKIE, DUNCAN PFLASTER and BEN FLASTER

"Robert Blake Winks at the Camera An Awful Lot While Talking About His Wife's Murder"

"Mel Gibson: I Don't Really Hate Jews, But If I Did Here's a Bunch of Things I'd Hate About Them"

"Bill Clinton: The Women I Did Not Have Sexual Relations With, and When and Where I Did Not Have Them"

"Madame Romanov's Sťance Audit With Kenneth Lay"

"Candid Camera's LAPD Special"

"Barbara Walter's Interview- "Han Solo: Why I Shot First"

"Tom Cruise: Male Porn stars I would wrestle with if I were Gay".

"Wynona Ryder Picks Out Some Outfits She Would Totally Shoplift If She Were Into That Kind of Thing"

"Kevin Costner: I've Murdered 14 Hobos and No One Ever Even Suspected Me (Just Kidding!)"

"R. Kelly's Beauty Pageant for 13 Year Olds He'd Like to Sleep With (Hypothetically Speaking)"

"Michael Jackson's Some People Might Consider Me Childlike And Playful Benefit Concert for the Seattle Area Hospital for Weak-Limbed Children Who Have A Low Tolerance for Alcohol."

"Fox News Special Report: A Fair and Balanced Look At - Haha, Sorry, We Kept A Straight Face For, Like, Ten Years, I Can't Believe We Blew It Just Now"

"Robert Wagner: How I would have made passionate love to Christopher Walken while on a boat with my wife, her discovery of which would have driven her to drunken suicide, if that had actually happened."

"Rachael Ray's Thirty Minute Meals (Note to affiliates: This show runs forty-five minutes)"

"Europe is Just a Nicer Place to Live, That's All" with Roman Polanski

"Charles Manson Jumps Off a Bridge"

"Adolf Hitler: Look, I Don't Know. Maybe They All Moved to Florida."