By BRODIE H. BROCKIE, GUTBLOOM, and BEN FLASTER

Little Mermaid Too Little: Ariel's Eating Disorder?

Council Considers Concealed Swordfish Legislation

Angelfish Trade "Flippers" Flannigan to the R'lyeh Tigersharks

Administration Says Local Government Responsible for 'Katrina Silt' Disaster

Thermal Vent Opens in Livingroom, Cooks Family of Four

Missing Child Found in Hidden Above Ground Pool on Long Island

Frat Boys Crushed in Drunken 'Whale Tipping' Incident

Are Pet Dog Whelks Too Vicious to Own?

Restaurant Review: Krill Buffet Doesn't Strain The Baleen, or the Wallet

Real-estate: Is it Time to Move Back to the Grand Banks?

Local Octopus Kills Englishman Caught Trespassing in Garden

Has Aquaman Gone "Surface"? Our Hero Now Mascot to "Super-Friend

Flounder Stocks Do

Prince Namor Stresses Patience as Snork Peace Talks Break Down

Parents of Jon-Benet Manatee Claim Innocence

Global Warming a Hoax: Oceans Go Through Natural Desalination, Scientists Say