By CALAMITY JON MORRIS, DUNCAN PFLASTER, BRODIE H. BROCKIE, BEN FLASTER and RJ WHITE
"Rock Out With Your Spock Out"
"More sexy green chicks this season!"
"Try to guess which crew member is gay. Come on, try - we'll even give you a clue: Believe it or not, it's not the Russian one."
"Trek is not Drek"
"50% more Uhura, 50% less Uhura's uniform"
"Tune in for 'Star T.Rex' week, with special guest/writer Marc Bolan"
"Now with more dead ensigns!"
"To boldly go where no man has gone before- To THE EXTREME!" (Caution- slogan may not be relevant for several decades)
"Star Trek '69 - Sounds so DIRTY!"
"Klingon - to futuristic adventure!"
"Enjoy Scotty Now Before He Gets Old and Fat"
"Set phasers for Renewed Interest!"
"Chicks swing SO hard in the 23rd century, you gotta believe us here."
"We Can't Make These Skirts Any Shorter!"
"If Star Trek Gets Cancelled, We'll Just Give Shatner Another Show Anyway"
"It's like 'Wagon Train' to the stars."