Other Places Parents Tell Children that Babies Come From By Calamity Jon Morris, Gutbloom, John Muller, Brodie H. Brockie, Duncan Pflaster and Shek Baker
Babies R Us
Family aisle at Best Buy
South Korean laboratories
Sea monkey packet that we "overfed"
Daddy's other baby's momma
"From the cabbage patch" Please Note: if you use this you will have a lot
of explaining to do. Today's youngsters are so alienated from the basics
of agricultural production that you will have to describe:
"When the duck with the green head and the duck with the brown head spend a lot of time together, the duck with the brown head lays eggs"
For boys, Mars. For girls, Venus.
In packs of twelve, from the supermarket.
1-800 number available in the Rolling Stones magazine advertising directory.
The Hurtful Place.
The cabbage patch. Alternatively, the running man, or even the robot.
From out of Spider-Man (requires further extrapolation)
"I don't know you little monster, but if you don't clean up this room, you're going right back!"
Kissing and making out.
That sonofabitch Brad Pitt.
"It's complicated, but basically my wiener hole."
The Tooth Fairy, as part of her long-term plan to feed her chronic baby-teeth habit.