By BEN McFLASTER, HARD-DRINKIN' CALAMITY JON MORRIS, DUNCAN O'PFLASTER, FATHER SEAN MICHAEL PATRICK GUTBLOOM, DARBY O'GILL and BRODIE "SHAMROCK SHAKE" BROCKIE
If you're so lucky why do have to wear that hat?
What's Tony the Tiger really like?
Which way to the Emerald City?
What's the weather like down there?
Can you check the bottom of my shoe for crap?
Do you need help going to the bathroom?
Did you lose your parents, little boy?
Hey, are you hung like an elf?
So, what does Capt. Kirk have against you anyways?
At Leprechaun strip clubs do the lady Leprechauns step dance or pole dance?
What are you dressed up as? Abe Lincoln on crack?
What's an Irish seven course meal?
Gold is kind of slow moving. Have you guys ever considered oil futures?
Do you mind if I just rest my drink on your little top hat?
Do you prefer to be called "Little People"?
Weren't you in The Lord of the Rings?
Do you mind going outside to smoke your little pipe?
Didn't I see you at Lepre-Con 2004?
Would you mind stepping into this box for a minute? I promise it's not a leprechaun-proof cage.
So, how are the Celtics doing this year?
Hey, my friends missed it. Will you say "I'm going to hit you with my big shillelagh stick" one more time?
Do you know what it means if a woman has a Claddagh ring through her breast?
So, you're Irish?