By BRODIE H. BROCKIE, DUNCAN PFLASTER, BEN FLASTER, JUSTIN VIDOVIC and MANNING KRULL
We stopped random strangers on the street to ask them what ring tone they had on their cell phone and why they chose what they chose. The following on their responses:
"The theme song from the old Batman TV show. I like to pretend that I'm Batman and commissioner Gordon is calling me to tangle with the Catwoman. Meeeeeeeeeow!"
"Adagio by Barber because I think it's sorrowful center echoes the post-millennium malaise of the American working drone. Through beeping."
"I got TLC's 'No Scrubs' because I don't want no scrub. A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me. Hanging out the passenger side of his best friend's ride, trying to holler at me. I don't want no scrub. A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me. Hanging out the passenger side of his best friend's ride, trying to holler at me."
"Britney Spears' 'Toxic', because I like to give the men I plan to destroy a little warning".
"Green Day, because I am a HARD CORE PUNK ROCKER!".
"The theme song to 'The Smurfs', because that's what the little man who lives in my left ear likes to hear, and if I don't obey him, he'll kill again".
"Simon and Garfunkel. Because I am a rock. I am an island. I don't get to hear it much, though, since nobody calls me".
"'Beauty and the Beast', 'cause that's me and my boyfriend. ...I'm the beast".
"Dowwnnny, The Quicker Piiicker Upper! That's a pretty obvious one, eh? I really don't think it needs any explaining."
'It's hard out there to be a Pimp'. Even though I work in a corner office, I understand what a pimp goes through. These hedge funds don't sell themselves,... well, actually they do. Anywho, I gotta run, late for a sushi lunch.
"Come on Eileen", because that's my girlfriend's name.
"It's Bach's 5th Brandenburg Concerto, because I want people to know I am a classy guy who likes to listen to concerti."
"My phone has this one sound on it that - get this - makes this crazy sound like it's some kind of phone that is ringing. Can you believe that one?"
"'My Immortal' by Evanescence, because I made a commitment to sucking in 2003, and I've stuck with it."
"You can change your ringtone?"