By BRODIE H. BROCKIE, CALAMITY JON MORRIS, LEONARD PIERCE, A. PAT O'SAURUS, DUNCAN PFLASTER, and GUTBLOOM
Santa's sleigh pulled by eight massive, shrieking pterodactyls.
Lyrics to "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" include: You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout I'm telling you why: Santa Claus is coming to town... also, the velociraptors might hear you."
Leaving out small mammals and stego eggs for Dino-Santa.
Snowball/triceratops dropping fights.
The Annual Dodging of the Yuletide Asteroid.
Egging the Marshall's cave.
Carving the roast Pteranodon.
Scrooge is visited by the Ghost of Christmas Triassic, The Ghost of Christmas Jurassic, and The Ghost of Christmas Cretaceous.
Going cave to cave, roaring Carols.
Dreaming of a not-getting-eaten Christmas.
Dashing through the snow, chased by a one-Dryptosaurid open sleigh.
Tro÷dontids nipping at your nose.
...and a Compsognathus in a pear tree!
Bobbing for mammals.
Rexican hat dance.
Pin the Tail on the Brontosaurus Apatosaurus.
Getting drunk and telling Diplodicus jokes.
Walking in mud next to primitive primates in order to make future Christians look like chumps.
Stuffing your loved ones' 30-foot-wide stocking with mastodons.
Mass Extinction Eve party with the gang.
Roasting sauropods on an open fire.
A Charlie Brown Christmas ends with the newly-lush Christmas tree being swallowed in one gulp by a brontosaurus.
Decking the cave with boughs of fern.
Thumbing through this year's "Women of Australopithecus" calendar.
Decorating Maiasaur eggs -- Oh, wait, that's Easter.
Blowing joyful noises with a parasauropholus head.
Standing in line to buy a two bladed ax head which, though invented, is in short supply because they introduced it in both Africa and Asia at the same time.
Johnny Mathis's many Christmas albums never released on account of the singer being devoured by a megalosaurus.
Salvation Army bell-ringers used to lure carnivores away from human shoppers.
But of course, remember, Dino-Jesus is the Dino-reason for the Dino-season.