By RJ White, Brodie H. Brockie, Ben Flaster, Justin Vidovic, Anne "mad-eye" Moloney, Raquel D'Apice and Laura Dinkins-White
Whenever you suggest a different book they say, "I don't know... does our lord Satan approve of it?"
Constantly referring to annoying little brother as "He Who Must Not Be Named."
Talks about taking a magical train to a hidden world where paintings move and talk and trees try to smash things and wizards and dragons fly around (WARNING: may also be a sign your kid is on LSD).
Whenever you suggest a different book they say, "Does it involve Harry Potter?"
When asked to choose a book for your reading group, usually suggests Harry Potter books.
Says his eyes are hurting him, and he could use reading glasses. Black, circular reading glasses.
Believes he lives in a world where an elite society with magical powers exists in secret from the normal people, who they control and despise. (WARNING: May also be a sign your child is Ralph Nader)
At his little league soccer game, he just runs around the field aimlessly, paying NO attention to the rest of the game, but intent on catching a particular bumble bee. When he catches it he yells, "WE WIN! WE WIN!" And then "OWWWWWWWWWWW!" (WARNING: This may also be a sign that you should just let him take the dance classes he wanted instead of forcing him to play soccer.)
Thinks recieving a disfiguring facial scar is "way cool." Sometimes lingers while crossing busy streets.
Insisted on a pet owl, and is constantly disappointed when it brings him field mice instead of mail.
Has not been meeting his quota of wallets or athletic shoes. Maybe some time in the box will help....
His skin has turned pale and clammy. His eyes, overlarge, and sunken in. He doesn't eat, piddles right where he is, and hardly ever moves except to flip a well worn page.
Has ruined all the pots and pans trying to make magic potions
Stands in front of the mirror, claiming it's a magic mirror that lets him see what would make him most happy. When you smirk and ask him what he sees, he responds, "Well for starters, a parent that's more supportive of my craft and not such a sarcastic jerk all the time!"
Seems to think that Myrtle, the girl two flats up who's always bringing home different men, is a ghost.
Is often found in the kitchen wearing a cape and straddling a broom. (WARNING: may also be a sign that your kid is goth and bi-curious)
Speaks parseltongue fluently enough to make partner in his midtown manhattan law firm.
Makes casual "parseltongue" references in conversation and just assumes everyone will know what he's talking about.
Daniel Radcliffe posters cure child of longtime debilitating "Billy Elliot" crush.
Frequently turns in current events papers on "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Commerce"
She locks herself in a bank vault in order to have time to read, read, read and be left alone to read.
Every time you see your kid, they're reading a Harry Potter book.