Put N'Sync in Mos Eisley scene, playing updated "hip" version of Cantina Band.

Put framed photograph of Samuel L. Jackson as Mace Windu hanging on tree in Yoda's lair on Dagobah.

Replace James Earl Jones' Darth voice-over with Gilbert Gottfried, for consistency with Hayden Christensen's performance as Anakin.

Ewok blood, to get coveted PG-13 rating.

Uncut, Unrated version of Mos Eisley, including a more traditional character for Samuel Jackson, as well as alien dancers with "enhanced" physiologies.

In the speederbike chase scene on Endor, Luke Goes over a fallen log, then under the next one. Lucas always wanted him to go over a log, swing right around a tree, then dive under another log. It's just... it's just not the same.

Scene where Darth Vader, as a warning to Admiral Piett, uses Force Pull to give him an atomic wedgie.

Darth Vader's voice done by Barry White, allowing for solo B-side to 'Star Wars Funk' 45.

Greedo repeatedly tries to shoot Han Solo first throughout their entire conversation.

Digitally adds sassy African American maid character to all Millennium Falcon scenes in Empire Strikes Back.

All six films will now include Jimmy Smits.

Instead of just getting his new name on the spot, Skywalker comes in with a batch of new dark side apprentices:
Palpatine: Dooku, from now on, your Sith name will be Tyranus.
Dooku: Why Tyranus?
Palpatine(belching): Why not?!?
Palpatine(moving down): Skywalker, I've thought long and hard about this. From now on, your Sith name is Vader.

Sexing it up! - Using CGI, replace Carrie Fisher's body with Carmen Electra's. Han Solo shower scene. Revealing that Chewbacca has been "Grooming the Wookiee" with one of R2D2's "special attachments" (C3PO gets jealous).

Adding a Chinese gong sound every time one of the Nemoidians finish a sentence.

The Rebels escape from the Imperials after the Battle of Hoth when General Veers can't resist stopping at Burger King for a delicious Whopper.

During the Return of the Jedi final battle, Wedge flies down the tunnel into the Death Star core, and there's a clearly visible TARDIS off to the side.

Cameo in the imperial senate scene by Lucasfilm superstar Howard the Duck.

All plot inconsistencies are finally explained away by ending the saga with a groggy Yoda waking up from a nap and declaring "Very strange dream, I have just had."

Add even more plot inconsistencies to teach a lesson to all the whining fanatics. Examples:
- Mace Windu appearing in Mos Eisley
- First they blow up the Death Star core, then they blow up the force field generator
- Princess Leia's buns changing from clockwise roll to counterclockwise (and back again) every time she reappears on camera
- Right before the Emperor zaps Luke with lightning, Greedo fires first
- Wedges Antilles fathering himself

- As they're bringing Princess Leia to her cell, the elevator opens up on a Roller Disco. Stormtroopers on skates!!

-- 10 additional minutes of the Wampa chewing it's dinner.

--Emperor and Vader's dialogue in The Empire Strikes Back revised yet again to:
EMPEROR: The rebel who blew up the Death Star is the son of Skywalker.
VADER: Sure, I figured, his name being Skywalker and all.
EMPEROR: The son of Anikin Skywalker, I mean.
VADER: Holy crap! How is this possible.
EMPEROR: Well, uh... sometimes when two people love each other very much...
VADER: No, I mean. Man! When I called him Skywalker earlier, I had no idea he was related to me... I mean, THAT Skywalker.
EMPEROR: How many Skywalkers do you know?

-- Adding a scene in which the Sarlaac Pit's digital venus flytrap sings songs from "Little Shop of Horrors."

-- More farting.