By Brodie H. Brockie
The man really knows how to handle a wand, if you know what I mean.
He always paid special attention to boys named "Harry." Also: hairy boys.
When asked why he picked the phoenix as his personal symbol, answered "because it's flaming."
Constantly referring to Professor McGonagall as "my hag, and I don't mean because she's a witch."
Said that when he looked at himself in the Mirror of Erised, he saw himself holding a pair of socks. Refused to say what was in those socks.
Always called his facial hair "my second beard." If you asked him what his first beard was like he'd say, "my ex-girlfriend" and laugh for 20 minutes.
Being a wizard teacher was his second career choice. His first? Catholic priest.
Card-carrying member of G.L.O.W. (Gay/Lesbian Order of Wizards).
Often wrote Harry Potter fanfic.
He was the most magical wizard in the most magical castle and was a friend to all the elves and unicorns in wizard-land. That pretty much does it right there, don't you think?