By David Andrews, Shek Baker, Duncan Pflaster

“I never once thought of walking out until we landed in Portland!”

"The best film of the year. Also racist!"

“It’s very humorly.” - President George W. Bush

“The seats were comfortable, the air conditioning was good, and my mother-in-law was watching the kids. What’s not to like?”

“More fun than a barrel of IRS auditors!”

"Keanu Reeves hasn't been this good since Point Break!"

"All the charm and wit of Ghostbusters II!"

"It's a (...) piece (...) that is (...) without question (...) not (...) horrifyingly bad! Britney Spears is (...) an actress!"

“Lisa Lampanelli and Fred Thompson play the star-crossed lovers…”

“Ruben Studdard and Clay Aiken star in the long-awaited follow-up to From Justin to Kelly!”

“A veritable ‘Plan-10!’”

“This movie-musical version of Roseanne has less Goodman, more Bernhard.”

“Like an episode of The Real World extended to three and one-half hours.”

"Dane Cook will rap his way into your heart."

“The thinking man’s Battlefield Earth.”

"Andy Dick brings a softness to the role of King Lear that is quite unexpected".

"John Travolta plays the role of the mother, portrayed in the original film by Divine..."

"It's no Shanghai Surprise, but Madonna and Gary Busey have real on-screen chemistry."

“Like a G-Rated Showgirls.”