By Jedi Master Jon Morris, Leonard "Lobot" Pierce, Brodie Hammerhead
Brockie, Princess Duncan Pflaster, Justin Vidovic D2, and Obi-Wan "Ben"
Star Wars creator George Lucas has given each chapter in his space saga a
separate subtitle: The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, Revenge of the
Sith, A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi. Before
settling on those final choices, though, Lucas rejected other names for each
movie. The list of rejects follows:
An Old Hope
Palpatating for Palpatine
Play Dress-Up with Natalie Portman
Introducing that Adorable Minx, Jar-Jar Binks!
Strawberry Fields Forever
The Lucas Menace
Far, Far Away Side Story
Natalie Portman is Too Young For YOU
Sorry. Joseph Campbell is Dead
Home Alone IV
Over Acting CGI Effects
Star Wars Babies!
Liam Neeson Slumming It
The Confusion Begins
The One With Them Racin' Whirligigs
The Phantom Sales Projections
The Phantom Plotline
The Phantom of the Sith Opera
That Hope Is Starting To Wear At The Seams
The Origins of Boba Fett
The Hardy Boys and the case of the Fretting Fetts
Now featuring reduced Jar-Jar
Attack of the Action Figures
Episode III, Part I
Everybody Loves Boba Fett
Natalie Portman is Still Too Young for Most of You
Don't Use Steroids, Kids. Use Midichlorians
Titanic, In Space
Christopher Lee Slumming It
Clones, Clones, Clones!
The One With All Them Robots and Whatnot
Attack of the Cloned Sheep
Your Parents Give You Their Old Hope Until You're Out Of College and Can Buy Some New Hope
The Skywalker Twins and the Secret of Candy Castle
You Got Sithed!
OMG, Finally VADER!!!!1!
The Death of Jar-Jar (by Darth Vader!)
Give Me Some More Money
(The Hills are Alive With) The Sound of Vader
The Final Merchandise
As Natalie gets older... so do you.
Finally, Obi-Wan SINGS
Thank God James Earl Jones Isn't Dead Yet
Now, This is the Last One, Right?
Revenge of the Disco Hair
A New Hope
A New Hope Floats
Like American Graphitti in Space! Only Not
Saturday Night Wookie
Dude... Where's my Land Speeder?
Why You Should Never Build and Abandon a Toy Robot
Though You Will Never Find a Girl With Dinner Roles For Hair, Now You Will
Always Want One
How Princess Leia Found and Then Lost Her English Accent
The Tragic Love Story of Luke and his Sister
Thank God It's Impossible to Shoot a Droid
The Littlest Storm Trooper
The Karate Kid of the 23rd Century!
Le Morte D'Porkins
Sideburns in Space
A Bob Hope
Alec Guinness and Peter Cushing Slumming It
Noisy Explosions Forever
The One with That There Death Star In It
These Aren't the Droids, Aren't the Droids, Droids You Want!
Hope Breaks Right After Warranty
Now We Have Money
We Added a Black Guy!
Fettin' It Up!
Fett Me Like You Mean It!
You Got Fetted!
Fettin II: Electric Boogaloo
A New Market
The Empire Strikes BackŠ For a Limited Time!!
The Empire Strikes an Exclusive Sales Deal
The Karate Kid of the 23rd and a half CENturyyy!
Star Wars.... on Ice!
Alec Guinness's Ghost Slumming It
Unexpected Quality Not to Be Repeated
The Star Wars Holiday Special (Go Ahead, Fanboys, Pretend It Didn't
Fett 45.... It Works Every Time!!
Bespin Rock City
The One with Them Tanks What Walk Around Like Heifers
Two Men Sleeping Together in a Heap of Intestines
Decide To Get Some NEW New Hope, But You'll Be Damned If You'll Pay
Department Store Prices
Muppets in Space
Return of the Plushies
A Jedi and his Sock Puppet
Dude, it's your sister
Return of the Product Tie-in
The Starriest Wars of All
Attack of the Mogwai
Tuesdays with Anakin
Teddy Bear's Picnic
Jabba The Hutt Slumming It
Ewoks -- Do What Now?