It would seem that Hollywood has got us moviegoers all figured out. We took the bait for one bad concept movie (Freddy vs. Jason), and, for our sins, we were punished with another one (Alien vs. Predator). Yes, they know that with a clever enough pairing, they don't even need to come up with an exciting story to make back their money on opening weekend. So, be forewarned about these upcoming flicks, coming soon to a theatre near you.
JURASSIC PARK vs. WESTWORLD - Don't get excited. Instead of dinosaurs against robots, this is merely about a friendly game of softball between the staffs of the two famous themeparks.
GHOSTBUSTERS vs. MEN IN BLACK - A courtroom drama (yes, you read that right) concerning a lawsuit brought by the Ghostbusters against the MIB organization over an alleged breach of contract. It seems that Agents K and J reneged on an agreement to only kill corporeal aliens, leaving the ones with spirit bodies to Drs. Venkman, Stantz and Spengler.
JAMES BOND vs. AUSTIN POWERS - The two superspies become combatants during festivities at the annual Secret Agent's Picnic. Featuring the most exciting Potato Sack Race ever filmed!
DIE HARD vs. LETHAL WEAPON - John McClane and Martin Riggs become embroiled in a frantic race against time to see which of them can sell more tickets to the Policeman's Ball.
DANCES WITH WOLVES vs. A MAN CALLED HORSE - In this Old West variation on "My Dinner With Andre," two white men, John Dunbar and John Morgan, sit around in a saloon, endlessly arguing over which of them makes a better Indian.
THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN vs. THE FANTASTIC FOUR - This one is actually just a porno movie featuring Ron Jeremy in a three-way with Pamela Anderson and Anna Nicole Smith.