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Today, June 18

Hey-ho, everyone, Hey, everyone. While Hairy is away getting his arteries unclogged, your favorite criminal mastermind is here running the site. After Hairy's post yesterday about the upcoming Hulk Hogan movie, reports started flooding in. Here's one:

Hey, Hairy and Blofeld. Looks like you guys are getting a little slow on the game. Not only did I already know the Hulk Hogan movie was in production, I'VE ALREADY SEEN IT!

You heard me right, you envious blowhards, I've already seen "Hullk Hogan: Unchained Hoganry" thanks to the rough cut of the film that has leaked out to the interweb!

And while there are many surprises in the movie, here's the biggest one: It SUX!!! This movie sucks harder than Hairy trying to get the last few drops from the bottom of his 4 litre Slurpee.

I think we all agree that the idea to have Hulk Hogan be entirely computer-generated in this movie was a great one, but the actual CG work I've seen in this movie is awful!! Hulk Hogan looks all fakey and blotchy and sometimes he has these weird bright green lines around his arms and legs and stuff - like this skeleton thing. Other times he'll turn into this stick with a photograph of the Hulkster taped to the end of it. Sometimes he disappears completely! Uh, the Hulk Hogan I remember did NOT have the ability to turn invisible - not in the WWF, not in the classic Saturday morning cartoon, and I don't think the WWF version of the Land of 1,000 Dances included and Turning Invisible Dance!

Sometimes, though, the CGI Hulk Hogan looks totally realistc. The quality of the CGI work rediculously varies. But then The Hulkster will pick up the CGI Andre the Giant and toss him over the Golden Gate Bridge and it's so obviously fake. Nice try convincing me that the Hulkster really through the Gentle Giant that far, but I know people can't really do that, so it looked FAKE!

FAKE FAKE FAKERS! This crap looked even dumber and faker than those cheap Matrix: Redundent effects of Gollum in Lord of the Rings.

I'm glad I got to watch this movie for free, because there's no way the movie theatres are getting my $8.50 to watch all this fakey fakeness. I'm going to enjoy movies were everything looks real, if they ever make any!

Call me "Eagle Eye"
OK, Eagle Eye. Here's another "review":
Deer Hairry,

I alreddy saw the movie about Hulk Hogan that you asked about I saw it by taking it down off of the internet where a frend of mine told me I could download it to my computer I didn't think it was very good.

They shuld put some music in the movie because there wasn't any music and sometimes Hulk Hogan was reelly obviously not a reel person they did'nt do a very good job with the specil effects they shuld have taken more time with those. Never mind about seeing this movie Hairry because you wo'nt like it it you are a true Hulk Hogan fan like you said you are becuase I am a true Hulk Hogan fan to and I was dispointing.

from "The Radicalator"
Blofeld here again. You know, I'd like to comment on these reviews, but not now. I'm going to sleep on this and let you know what I think about this tomorrow.

Blofeld out.

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What about? 2002-06-18 05:41:08
CGI crapfest 2002-06-18 05:41:08
where? 2002-06-18 05:41:08
effects 2002-06-18 05:41:08
Also! 2002-06-18 05:41:08
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