Brodie H. Brockie created with RJ White in the summer of 1999. Historians now believe this was the act that finally destroyed the feelings of optimism and promise that people held toward the internet at that time.

  When he was born, Brodie's pinkie, ring, and middle fingers on his right hand were fused together. Have you ever seen "Batman Returns"? It was just like the penguin's hands. Penguin's Hands is, unfortunately, not the clinical name for the disorder, though. It's called syndactylism, and much to Brodie's dismay, it was well repaired by a skilled surgeon. Now he can never fulfill his dream of joining Magneto's band of evil mutants and help to overthrow the world. Also, Magneto is fictional.

  In addition to wasting his time writing comedy on the internet without pay, Brodie enjoys wasting his time writing and performing comedy on video without pay. He is a founding member of A Monkey & A Typewriter Productions, creators of The Fifth Contingency, High Adventure!, Jimmy Claus and Misery Loves Company.

  When Brodie was young, but not young enough to justify this, he was very scared of going to the movies. He remembers particularly being afraid of Raiders of the Lost Ark, Rocky II and Tootsie. Tootsie for cripe's sake! What a wuss!

  Brodie graduated with an English degree from Michigan State University in 1995. You can see what good that did him.

  Brodie enjoys writing autobiographies that sound as though someone else actually wrote them.

  Brodie can fly.

  Here's what some Famous Celebrities are saying about Brodie H. Brockie:

  "Who?" - Robert DeNiro

  "I've never heard of that person." - Stockard Channing

  "This joke is tired already." - Corbin Bernson

  Brodie would like to dedicate this bio to the men and women who have dedicated their lives to the pursuit of science. Thanks, science nerds! Keep reaching for the stars!

  RJ White was born on an April day in 1975. He went to school consistently from 1980 to 1997, a record which stands amongst his siblings to this day.

  An only child, RJ would spend hours alone in his room, performing elaborate "sketches," of his own creation. To an outside observer, this would have appeared to be "cronic loneliness," and they would be right.

  In college, at Michigan State University (Go Eagles!), is where RJ truly bloomed, taking part in collegiate television "programs," such as the imaginatively titled sitcom The Show and it's sketch-based counterpart, Sideshow.

  After college, things hit rock bottom with several unsatisfying jobs and a stint as the lead bass for college radio-darlings The Sundays. For a time he was the features producer for an internet-based news concern. He now lives in Philadelphia, where men dress as Benjamin Franklin for money. Occasionally, he performs with The Waitstaff, a sketch-based comedy concern.

  RJ has also written and performed for The Fifth Contingency, another televised sketch-based "program," starring teen heartthrob Donald Quada. He also was in the first graduating class of Second City Detroit's writing conservatory program. Fat lot of good that did. Am I right, people? I thought so.

  Now, to pad this out to roughly the same length as Brockie's bio, here are some facts about comic actor Joe Flynn:

  • During World War II, served stateside in a performance troupe called "Hank's Yank's." Did ventriloquism with a dummy named "MacGreggor."

  • Best known as the co-star of many Disney films in the 60s & 70s

  • Died before last 2 films were released.

  • Interred at Holy Cross Cemetery, Culver City, California, USA, in section B, L320, #10.

  • Flynn's body was found lying at the bottom of his swimming pool, weighted down by the weight of a cast on his broken leg, having suffered a heart attack while in the pool.

  • In April, 1974, he was beaten and robbed of a watch at a Florence, South Carolina motel.