What I don't understand is why we couldn't, just for the sake of the picture, simulate this potential hazard using, say, water or soda or bourbon or pretty much anything other than SCALDING HOT PRESSURIZED OIL!

Damn it, people, a little imagination!

Plus, they painted a heart and a vein along the outside of my body and it took about 47 takes until they were able to blast me right where the line started.

©2002, Amalgamated Humor, Inc.