I've done so many of these damn slippery floor signs that most of them just blur in my memory, but this one stands out.

The director of the shoot kept going on an on about going for artistry as well as functionality and all that B.S., and how he wanted a shot of me landing right on my tailbone. We just kept doing take after goddamn take for hours.

After about take 50 or something I start to notice the crew and the director are snickering, and I realize they'd just been screwing with me the whole time.


So anyway, the next morning I got up early and buttered up the steps from the directors trailer really good. He comes out for his morning mocha or whatever and his feet just going flying right up over his freaking head.

As they were loading him into the ambulance, I managed to get up beside him and whisper, "doesn't seem so funny now, does it, smartass."

But by then he couldn't hear me.

©2002, Amalgamated Humor, Inc.