Yoda/Padawan Chat Scandal Transcript

intercepted by Brodie H. Brockie

Jedi Master Yoda resigned from the Jedi Council this week after news it was leaked that he engaged in what members of the council have referred to as "overly friendly" instant messages with a 16-year-old Jedi apprentice (or "padawan"). We have received a transcript of the exchange and present it below. The padawan's screen name has been replaced with "*****" due to his status as a minor.

YDA80: greetings, youngling.
*****: hey. rlly tired.
*****: worked out a lot with master Qui-Gon
*****: preparing for my trials
YDA80: preparing for your trials, are you?
YDA80: whoops. LOL
*****: ha ha. yeah.
YDA80: what wearing, are you?
*****: Took my cloak off, so just my off-white Jedi gi
YDA80: slip it off. comfortable you should get
*****: i'm fine
YDA80: hot and sweaty, you must be
*****: kind of
YDA80: mmm hmm hmm!
*****: LOL. Is that supposed to be your little laugh?
YDA80: LOL. yes. use your lightsabre today did u?
*****: i no where this is going.
YDA80: did u?
*****: yeah, of corse.
YDA80: how long is it?
*****: i already told u!
YDA80: again, tell me!
*****: 46 inches
YDA80: OMG so big!
*****: isn't that just pretty much standard issue?
YDA80: mine's not!
*****: well for my height.
*YDA80 has signed off*
*YDA80 has signed on*
*****: get kicked off?
YDA80: strong with you, the force is
YDA80: when it comes to stating the obvious
*****: shut up
*****: LOL
YDA80: u r so cute
YDA80: clone u, i wish i could
*****: well, i should go.
YDA80: :(
*****: have to train a lot more tomorrow for my trials
YDA80: wouldn't sweat it too much, would i.
YDA80: think you'll pass fine
YDA80: wink wink
*****: can't wait to cut off my stupid little braid
YDA80: ha ha. think its hot i do
YDA80: kind of my fteish
YDA80: ftish
*****: u mean fetish?
YDA80: LOL yeah. stupid stubby fingers
YDA80: what is yours?
*****: i dunno...
*****: cutting ppls hands off
YDA80: ha ha - what?
*****: is what weird?
YDA80: no no
*****: also dark leather
*****: if I ever have an apprentice i'm totally making him wear dark leather
YDA80: hott
*****: anyway should go
*****: master qui-gon is pretty demanding
YDA80: think you mean master bi-gon
*****: rlly?
YDA80: oh yeah
YDA80: big time
*****: LOL. bye
YDA80: may the force be with you
*YDA80 has signed off*