Man, I can't even figure out what this guy even thinks he's going for unless, of course, it's getting repeatedly punched in the face and tossed in a dumpster.

Let's pretend for a moment we can even understand the compulsion to dress up like a Star Wars character AND a character from Pirates of the Caribbean at the same time. I know it's a lot to ask, but try. Why Jack Sparrow as a Stormtrooper? How does it make sense to take a fiercely independent rule-breaking anarchist and merge him with characters that are so rigidly conformist that they are literally clones?

Wouldn't you merge Jack Sparrow, instead, with Han Solo? Their outlooks are much more similar. Hell, Han Solo is even referred to as a pirate at times! Wouldn't that make more sense... I mean, as much sense as mixing a Star Wars character with a Pirates of the Caribbean character possibly can?

Hey, maybe this guy is supposed to be Jack Sparrow as Han Solo DISGUISED as a Stormtrooper! That makes...

Jesus, I think I just got into this guy's head for a second! LET ME OUT!