Back to the Boatload of Blarney!

May those who love us, love us
And those who don't love us,
May God turn their hearts
And if he can't turn their hearts,
May he make anvils fall from the sky,
to land on their heads with hilarious pranging sounds.

May the road rise to meet you,
just like it always does,
when you get so drunk,
you pass out in the street.

May the leprechauns be near you,
To spread luck along your way.
And may all of the medications
Take the awful hallucinations of tiny screeching people away.

Ireland It's the one place on earth
That Heaven has kissed
With melody, mirth
And meadow and mist
And decades of religious-based warfare

These things, I warmly wish for you-
Someone to love,
A bit o' sun
A bit o' cheer
A book of gift certificates to Hardee's
And a guardian angel
Always near.

On this day St. Patrick,
Surrounded by friends and more
Take that guy wearing a "Kiss Me, I'm Irish" pin
And throw him the hell out the door.

Down at the pub,
Reveling all night
Pray they don't run dry of Guinness
And substitute Amstel Light

May all your sorrows be like a Shamrock Shake,
available for a limited time only.
Also, may they be a minty green in color,
putrid to the taste, and contain sodium benzoate as a preservative.

Bless Bono's round, shiny glasses,
for they are round, and they are shiny,
and he is Irish.

May your schizophrenia always be blamed on colorful drunkenness.